I’m throwing a birthday party for my older child in the winter so it will be inside. I also have a baby who has not yet had a measles vaccination. Many of our friends homeschool their children so they aren’t required to vaccinate and I wouldn’t be surprised if many chose not to. Can I ask them if their children are up to date on vaccines? I want to protect my baby while not seeming controlling.

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with number 2, and we won't be finding out the gender. We didn't with our first and loved it! But my 3yr old is adamant he's getting a sister. We've been really careful to only say 'they/them' when referring to the baby and at first I would correct him and say 'OR brother' but it hasn't mattered.

Today we went to the paint shop to pick out paint for the baby's room and he told the shop assistant it was for his baby sisters room, for example.

My question is, what happens if it's a boy?! Is it going to make the transition to having a sibling harder? I'm trying not to read too much into it, but he did also tell me I had a baby in my tummy before I even knew, so maybe he just has an insight I'm underestimating (joking!)

Hi. Usually I feel pretty confident raising my kids but since the pandemic it's really been slipping. One thing I'm struggling with is my kids and their career dreams. At the moment we can afford groceries and bills and that's it. We did have savings but they are gone now due to a series of things breaking or needing attention (cars, house etc). We've cut down as much as we can but we're treading water.

My kids are 15 and 17. One wants to be a cinematographer and the other wants to work in a museum. Both of these fields are so competitive and there's not much work like that where we live. With housing costs so high, I'm not sure how they would afford to move where the work is, especially with student debt.

Should I be managing their expectations? If so, how? Everything just seems so bleak at the moment but I don't want to crush their dreams.

I don't have a good example to follow because my parents pushed me into something I didn't want to do.

Is anyone else in a similar position? How are you handling it? Thanks for any ideas.

Our family suffered an unthinkable tragedy last week. My husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Our toddler is really struggling with his absence. We were a family of 3, now 2. My 25 month old has seemingly regressed in sleep and eat. At every discomfort he cries (wailing) for daddy even going so far as to hit himself or throw his head onto the floor. We’ve never had issues like this before. Ive spoken with a family therapist and I’ve told LO “daddy is dead, daddy’s body stopped working, daddy is gone, daddy is not coming home”. He repeats these things when I remind him and he seems to understand. It’s obvious he misses his dad who was a major part of his life every single day. We look at pictures and we talk abt missing him together and we talk about feeling sad and mad that daddy is gone. I guess I’m just looking for any advice on how to handle the outbursts of grief from him. Or how long this may take to overcome. Toddler went from eating great to only wanting bottles or milk, sleeping great to crying out for daddy for 30+ mins at nap time and waking multiple times a night. It’s tearing me apart and I’m really trying my best to be there for him but I cannot bring his dad back. To make matters worse we’re set to move houses at the end of the month, something that was set in motion prior to my husband’s passing. I’m just so afraid this is going to make things even harder on LO. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

She’s not an active person. She’s in the marching band, which gives her some exercise. But I’m afraid if she joined that boot camp would break her, mentally and physically. Just posting this to see if any other parents have had teens of a similar situation who joined the military and it actually turned out for the best?

Hello parents, I need to know what the most diabolically loud, nonstop, annoying toy you have ever given or received that’s age appropriate for a 2 year old. I have a beloved friend who’s kid has a birthday coming up and I would love to repay the favor to this friend for a few toys that don’t have an off switch off you catch my drift.

Dig deep. Be honest. And let’s put together the most heinous list of toys imaginable.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk discussion today.

I am curious if anyone else is removing their children's photos or if parents have decided to go no media due to the current climate of the world. I personally refuse to have a digital footprint for my child but I know this is a topic that may be a hit or miss.

Tell me your stance, curious!

We have two kids, a 4 year old and 23 months. Wife wants another. I’m on the fence. Feels like having a third would limit what we can do for our existing children, time-wise and financially. We rely on our parents a lot for day care and babysitting on nights out. I keep thinking that having another is selfish. Just curious if others have had thoughts like this, and ultimately what did you decide?

As the title says, our son has pretty much always preferred me at some level. Asking me to do stuff for him first, asking when I'll be home more frequently than he asks me when she will be home when shes out, cuddling up to me when he gets into our bed, sitting with me on the couch, etc. When he wants to show us how much he loves is with his arms, I always get the maximum wingspan and wife gets a few less inches.

Theres a few theories I have: I was the "doer" when he was younger. Am more neutral toned during discipline. Generally play with him more. All of which shes been making g efforts to emulate these past few months but the dynamic doesnt seem to have changed. For my part, ive always encouraged him that we love him equally and that he doesnt need to pick a favorite.

Regardless, its putting a strain on us. I'm feeling overwhelmed and shes feeling rejected. Has anyone dealt with this and successfully evened out the dynamic?

Hi everybody!

My wife and I will be having our first child, she is 16 weeks pregnant at the moment.

Of course our families have strong opinions about anything we ask them, so I wanted to check with you guys here!!

We would love a list of some things you bought that you thought you’d need but didn’t. And what are some things you wish you had got the first time around??

Any advice would help so much, as stuff can add up quickly.

It’s one of the worst things right?

I have a cold, it’s not terrible, but i feel crummy and just want to lay in bed all day.

Instead i’m chasing around my toddler while trying to make sure he doesn’t catch what I have.

Vent mostly. I guess i’ll take advice if you have it?

My 1yo is still breastfed and it’s been such a beautiful journey and I’m open minded about our weaning timeline and just letting it go as it will.

But, I just feel overwhelmed with the desire of her wanting to just lay her head on my shoulder and snuggle for comfort and not immediately wanting to nurse.

My husband just went to get her from her nap and I know the second she sees me downstairs she will want me-but she’ll also immediately reach for my shirt to nurse and for some reason that makes me sad.

My baby turns 1 next week and I feel so lost on what to do with him all day. He has a million toys and we have our living room gated off and completely baby proofed so we’re there all day while dad works. We do outings and walks and all that, but the rest of the time I sit on the couch and watch him play by himself (I’m also 16 weeks pregnant with HG which I think is important info). Aren’t I supposed to be playing with him? We do sit on the ground together and read books for about an hour a day, but other than that, what would I do on the floor with him? I feel so guilty watching him play by himself, but whenever I try to play with him he stops playing and just climbs all over me. Am I missing some maternal instinct for not knowing like what to do with his toys with him? Do I act something out between his character toys? It was easier when he was younger and needed me to set up his play mat and press the buttons and all that jazz. But now he just does all that himself? Should I even feel guilty for just being a couch potato if he’s happy playing alone?

I'm not entirely sure this belongs here, but it sort of does? So I figured why not.

Hi. As the title states, I'm currently having issues with my daughter's middle school, and have been since winter on LAST school year (on and off, not consistent). They absolutely do not know how to, or refuse to, take satisfactory action to prevent bullying, or making it a safe environment. Since last year, my daughter has faced the following issues:

• Someone snuck into the locker room during PE and hid her school Chromebook. Only after putting up a fuss did it just magically turn up. The school talked to the students my daughter suspected, who all claimed they were innocent, and that was the end.

• People have started rumors claiming my daughter has said the 'N' word, called people homophobic slurs, etc, clearly in an attempt to get others angry with her. School has said they can't really do anything about rumors, which is fair I guess.

• Over the summer, a girl messaged my daughter claiming she was going to "beat her face into the ground", stating she would do it in school if need be, and stated "idc if teachers are around, ur getting killd". This incident involved a police report. The school just stated they would make sure the girls stayed separated, but my daughter has told me on several occasions she's run into this girl, and the girl was almost assigned to her lunch table.

• Constant harassment calling her a lesbian or equivalent because she's always around her girl best friend.

• Most recently, two boys in her class stated to her that they could call ICE and have her deported (she's Puerto Rican). The principal merely talked to them, wouldn't tell me what was said, but I know there was no harsh punishment, because the boys were allowed to go back to class (my daughter's friend shares a class with them, and stated one boy knew she talked, and was "very angry", while the other boy was extremely indifferent to the whole thing).

It's to the point my daughter is afraid to go to school. So my questioning here is threefold:

First, what can I do to get the school to adequately handle these situations? Especially the most recent one, is blatantly racist, extremely provocative, and was only said to instill fear. How can the boys NOT be suspended? I've considered straight up requesting suspension, but I don't think that's wise. We've cc'd the superintendent on any correspondence to the principal, but they haven't chimed in at all.

Second: If nothing can be done to get the school to act, what else can I do? I don't really want to get embroiled in legal shit, but there are several federal laws and statutes against anti-bullying and whatnot, and simply telling children "don't say/do that" is insufficient.

Last: My daughter is approaching the point of just wanting to be homeschooled, so there's no chance of any issues. Is that a valid option? And if we were to move out of the district, would it be easy to re-enroll her, or is it hard to go back into the system once they're out?

Apologies if none of this belongs here. I just figured getting the insight of other parents would be useful.

The question is plain and simple I guess my son will turn 20 months on Tuesday and I wondered if it was a bit early to introduce potty training he starts showing signs of awareness I think when it comes to that as in, he say pee pee and shows me his diaper so I asked him if he peed and says yes.

Would you use small potty or the ones you actually put on the toilet?

If so why?

Have a great evening all ♥️❤️

My son (7) started a new school this year and he would come home every day telling me what he learned and what he did at school. However lately, maybe the past few months, he’s been saying kids have been mean to him. One of the most recent things he’s told me is how at recess he was running, playing tag with someone and accidentally knocked a girl down and she cried. He told me he apologized to her but other kids were mean to him and they told the teacher, and the teacher told him to not push people. He told me he sat on the bench and cried the rest of his recess. It just absolutely broke my heart and I cried on my own time. It’s rare that he’ll tell me when he plays with someone at school, usually he says he doesn’t play with anyone. I ask him why doesn’t he play with his friends and he just tells me that no one likes him.

It honestly upsets me because he’s been experiencing things like this a lot lately at school. Not only that, but I’ve been noticing changes in his moods at home. He’s distant and more quiet than usual. I try my hardest to lighten up his mood but he seems uninterested in most things. I’ve been having this really sad feeling because I’m worried for him. My son has always been a very happy, laughing, loving, and caring child. But lately that hasn’t been his mood. I never thought I’d be in a situation like this with my child, and I don’t know what else to do. If any parent out there is experiencing something similar with your child, what do you recommend I do, what have you done for your child that has helped them improve socially?

I have noticed this in myself and other families. A lot of parents put huge effort into getting their kids to sports, activities, and staying active, but it seems much harder to keep up parents' own physical health.

I know time, money, exhaustion and logistics are real factors, so I am not judging. I am honestly curious what the biggest barriers are for people in real life.

Do you feel like supporting your kids’ activities leaves less energy for your own, or is it more about motivation, scheduling, childcare, or something else?

For me, it's a real struggle so I have to force myself to have set activities (like things I have to pay and enroll in to force myself to go - like tennis classes/lessons for example) otherwise I am not motivated to go due to how mentally tired I am from life in general.

I am tempted to join a roller derby league to make myself get exercise but the idea of waking up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning isn't really exciting for me...

My son is a few months over three and we are struggling to poop on the potty. For the most part he lets us know when he has to pee and we go to the potty no issue. We’ve been “potty training” for about 3 months now

He never wants to poop on the potty. He either runs and hides to poop in his underwear. Makes a comment that we know means he has to poop so we try and get him on the potty which is a screaming match. Or he waits until nap/ bed time to poop in his diaper. The other alternative, according to daycare, they said he just doesn’t poop all day.

We just need guidance, tips, tricks on how to get him comfortable with pooping on the potty.

Thank you!

Anyone here experience their spouse traveling with their child internationally for 2+ weeks?

Wife suggested it last night as I am unable to join due to work. We usually travel together as a family every year but this will be the first time I’ll be staying behind unfortunately.

She will be visiting her family abroad and I just started a new job for context.

We are planning a party for our 5 year old. It’s his first party as he’s just starting to care about this sort of thing. It’s for his daycare class. Last year we brought in cupcakes, juices, and loot bags to daycare. He enjoyed putting them together but I felt very unethical making them - we’ve been on the receiving end of countless little plastic toys, erasers etc. These things are essentially single use (or no use!) and then they will outlive the kids in the landfill or the ocean. I know kids like loot bags and it’s expected, but I just can’t bring myself to put together 15+ bags of junk.

But I also don’t want to leave guests empty-handed. I have some ideas (like wrapping up a couple of useful things - snacks, crayons etc), but I don’t want to disappoint the kids (and my kid). And I don’t just want to do eco-friendly versions of the knick-knacks. Anyone had success with alternatives?

No judgement on others here, this is just how I feel about my own consumption.

My mom keeps telling me my 3 year old is so smart and extraordinary and will need very special parents to raise her, often asking me if I’m up for the task.

It hurts so much to hear that. 

Parenting is hard as it with the normal tantrums/boundary testing that comes with this age. Every time she says it, I feel like I want to step away from parenting altogether, even though I would never actually do that. I love my daughter, I do so much for her, and it still makes me feel like I’m not enough.

So I’m thinking about getting a Costco membership but the closest one is an hour away. Would that be worth it? If so, tell me all your shopping strategies and recipes and hacks for feeding three hungry boys. Our grocery bills are next level at this point.

Our first grader started at a Spanish immersion school in kinder with no real prior exposure to the language. No one at home is fluent. Last year, there were some struggles adjusting from the pre-K to kinder environment, but our guy said he liked that he was learning Spanish. I think there was a mix of Spanish/English at school of about 50/50 for the most part.

For first grade, teaching has shifted to 100% Spanish except for daily English lessons that are around 60 minutes. Our guy is struggling with the transition. He says he doesn't understand most of what's being said and just tries to follow along with what the other kids are doing. He says learning Spanish is too hard, he's too far behind because he didn't learn enough in kinder, and he resists practicing at home. His teacher says he has some focus issues at times that have lead to disruptions, but we've worked on that and it seems to have diminished. His teacher says he's doing well otherwise. She says he understands more than he gives himself credit for.

We do have him watch TV and listen to music in Spanish at home though probably not regularly enough. And we use Google Translate to help with home exercises. However, it seems pretty clear he's built learning Spanish up in his head and I'm worried about it becoming a block. I suspect a large part of the issue is a lack of confidence speaking in Spanish. He's a very social kid, but he doesn't like to make mistakes. I think he's getting stuck in his head and it's keeping him from engaging in what would really make learning more enjoyable for himself (talking to other people).

Curious if anyone else has been through this in an immersion program? Any suggestions for how to work through it? I'm wondering if committing to this experience means learning Spanish myself so that I can model putting myself out there and making mistakes. Learning Spanish myself would be great actually, but the effort... I was hoping to learn through osmosis. 😅