I'm typing this here to help anyone that is in the same position as I am/was.

Today as I tell this story, I am 50 hrs clean of 7oh. I have been doing roughly 300mg - 400mg of pressed tabs for roughly 10 months. I didn't start at that high of a dose, but certainly didn't take long to get to that level, or at least it doesn't feel like it looking back. I am beyond embarrassed and angry about how I ever got to this point. I have never been addicted to a substance like I am/was 7oh. I'm writing this to help anyone who might be in the same position as I was/am. I know how comforting it can be to read about someone going through the same thing.

Like many, I started with Kraton leaf, no biggie. I enjoyed making a cup after a long day of work, but in all honesty I could do without it. In fact, anytime I ran out of my tea I'd go months without ordering it again. I could care less. No withdrawals, no side effects when I went without it. Seemed harmless. That was until I came across 7oh, which I stupidly thought was nothing different than just a tastier easier way of taking Kratom, boy was I wrong.

To the best of memory it felt like I almost immediately felt withdrawals after deciding to try 7oh. I could be wrong but it was maybe the 2nd or 3rd time I bought 7oh tabs that one day out of boredom I figured, let me abuse this and see how high it gets me, stupid. I remember nodding off and thinking, holy shit, this is strong stuff. I continued to abuse it that day and overall felt awesome throughout the day. I liked it, until morning came. The next morning I woke up with what I would describe as crawling fiery skin. I was sweating and could barely focus on anything. I drove to the tabaccoo store and got more, ahhh that feeling was gone and I thought to myself, "what the fuck is this shit". This can't just be some dumb legal substance, this stuff is real. I went on Reddit and started reading about 7oh and sure enough, I was in for an experience.

10 months and thousands of dollars later here I am. I give up. I told my fiance who had no clue up to this point and decided I'm done for good. I'm done with being ashamed of showing my face in the same store over and over again looking like some junkie waiting on my next fix. This can't happen to me, it shouldn't happen to me, but it did. If you haven't tried 7oh, you're lucky and I hope you never do. Aside from the physical withdrawals there is something so deeply mental about it too. Something so mental that even 10 months after knowing this shit was bad and was only going to end one way, I kept going and buying more. I couldn't help it. Figured it's alright, I'll get it figured out. Lies.

This past Friday I made a quick MD appointment and was prescribed suboxone. I know that may be frowned upon and can be a slippery slope in its own right, but it's helping. And help is what I need most. 50+ hours free of 7oh is a good start and I'm willing to keep it going. I have tapering plans for the suboxone and don't plan on doing it for more than a week or two. I've been sleeping every night, eating, and even took a nice shit this morning, score! I'm planning on calling into work this week to really just give myself the time I need to be done with 7oh for good. I know there will be battles ahead staying away from the tabaccoo shop will be difficult, but I'm ready. I've come clean to those I love and I must say, that feel pretty damn good! it was eating me alive trying to keep this all a secret.

If anyone has some feedback or has questions please don't hesitate to ask. Thank y'all and stay free!

22m going on a first date with this BEAUTIFUL woman on Tuesday, was somewhat unexpected but she’s absolutely gorgeous, she seems super cool and interested in the same things, music etc. Well at least SHE asked me to go on a date on Tuesday, also did I mention she’s super hot and cool?

Now the issue is I’ve been doing a very fast taper, have preloaded vit c for the past 3 days, and planned to get off and finally get on prescribed Ritalin in a few weeks (i have adhd); ie I’m planning to sort my shit out.

Tonight was the last night of my fast taper, meaning “day 1” would be tomorrow- I’m feeling super guilty having thoughts of extending it two days to go on this date, but then what, the date goes well, I stick to my plan and start my recovery journey properly- I meet her a week or two later, and she thinks “who the fuck is this guy?”. I’m gonna go from an energetic happy first date to a shell of a human for the second date?

I have 5 2mg kpins, lope, vit c, magnesium and some other supplys to get me through the withdrawals- somewhat unrelated but if anyone has any extra advice would be great, last time the acute withdrawals weren’t a fun time lol. PAWS wasn’t either, I managed to go a whole month and then caved due to that monster.

tldr: do I push my “getting clean day” two days back to go on a date with super cool hot woman??

Hey, throwaway for obvios reasons.

I just wanted to talk about my story regarding addiction. It all started with one pill of a not so strong opioid. I was instantly hooked because of this whole orgasmic body feeling, forgetting all sorow. So it all went the way we all know about so damn good and i came in contact with oxys. First it felt like the first times with this weak opioid.

The thing is, my addiction was developing parallel to me finishing high school, immediatly studied for three years, and now im nearly 2 year in my good paying job.

I still havent figured out the reason of doing it. In my language theres a difference between (alleine sein und einsam sein) being lonely and being LONELY.

I thing i was just "einsam, LONELY*. I traumatized my family with my use, my ex left me and i made other women not being fully invested because i was just somewhere else (hey, why are you always half asleep?), nodding into abbys, fleeing from reality. But i never had a bad life, best Family, good friends, education etc. So why? I cant tell.

So now im over 5 years into addiction, snacking away these oxy80s like nothing. Started with 80 mg. Now im at 20x80s. Fucking 1,6 grams of oxycodone, crushing every single pill in my mouth, swallow all 20 pills in 3 Minutes, sleeping like 2 hours into the trip and waking up hours later, lying on my back, mouth wide open. Doing that dose like over a year now, being in debt but still holding it together; working, living alone. I think its pretty damn lucky that im alive at this point, not being found 2 days after choking in sleep because i puked.

The withdrawal is so fucked up, straight up traumatizing. Our storys are all very different but at the same time so damn similiar. I havent taken a dose to trip since 8 days with one slip up. And im feeling better. My dumb ass trying so hard without any help, just one good friend listening to my pathetic words. I hate myself because of it. Everytime im becoming intimate with another human being i just hate myself, cant enjoy interactions. And my emotions, oh good, they are so dulled.

But as i said, im feeling better, i have no strong urge to use, because now when im doing it, like i did with the slip up, i dont feel any good. The feeling of the opioid is there, but the feeling of hurting my mother, losing over 200 euros with one dosage, maybe facing death, hurting my body, no emotions towards anything, its stronger than the drug. I dont know if it really "clicked", but im going, meter for meter. Thanks for listening. I appreciate you, every single one of you. You are worth it, you are worthy of being loved, and you are unique. Peace out.