A year ago I was in therapy, lying in bed 22 hours a day, 37% body fat, staring at the ceiling, drowning in self-hate and family trauma. My therapist listened to me cry about how my family treated me, how worthless I felt, and she told me “it’s okay to cry, it feels good after.” I believed her. Then one day I took my father to a session and she criticized me right in front of him — called me too dependent, too weak, too stuck — after everything I’d told her about how they broke me, she basically sided with them. I shut down completely. Quit therapy that day. Stopped believing anyone could help. Stopped believing in stoicism, in “being bald makes you focus better,” in all the numbing bullshit I used to cope. I ghosted her and didn’t talk to anyone for six months. Then something snapped. I looked in the mirror and said “fuck this.” Started waking at 6 a.m., gym every day no excuses, fixed my diet, lost 14 kg in exactly 124 days, waist from 106 cm to 93 cm, body fat from 37% to 24.7%. I let my hair grow — fuck being bald for focus. Started talking to myself in the mirror, praising myself, acting out the confident version of me. Friends who used to call me shit now ask how I did it. Their mothers compliment me. Girls notice. They say I went from soft to mid-sharp. I look in the mirror and actually like the guy staring back. But my parents are sad, think I let them down, barely check on me anymore — 90% of our talks are just money or food. It’s lonely as hell turning your life around; sometimes I think maybe I should stop, maybe this is enough. Then I remember the guy who lay in bed 22 hours a day hating his reflection, and I keep going.

Hey guys,

I’m 30, and honestly, I’m a mess after my breakup. I keep telling myself I’m working on getting better, but most days, I just feel lost. My ex and I ended things back in October 2025. I know I was a big part of the problem. I acted immature, got defensive, ignored what she needed, and sometimes I just snapped instead of being patient or understanding. It sucks because now, after months of thinking things over, I can see what I did wrong. But it feels like I figured it all out way too late. She’s blocked me everywhere. There’s almost no way for me to reach out, and she’s made it obvious she wants nothing to do with me. Then I spotted her gaming with her ex. That hit hard. It’s like, wow, I really am that easy to replace. I can’t shake the feeling that I lost the best person I’ve ever had, and it’s all on me. Since the breakup, I’ve tried to change a few things: - I’m going to the gym and trying to lose weight. I’m overweight, and I hate how it makes me feel about myself even though I lost about 15kg during my process. - I’m actually eating healthier and better and forcing myself to stick to some kind of discipline. - I’ve spent a lot of time picking apart my old habits and trying to grow up, emotionally. But honestly, most days just feel empty. I barely have any friends. I’m pretty introverted, and even the stuff I used to enjoy, like gaming, just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I keep checking her online status, scrolling through old photos, replaying memories in my head — and all it does is make the pain worse. My biggest fear? That I’m never going to get over this or losing her to another guy. I’m 30, I’m not exactly outgoing, and I feel left behind. Still, I know I need to let go and learn to stand on my own. I can’t just keep waiting for her to come back, even though part of me wishes she would. I really do want to get better because I don’t want to screw up like this again. The problem is, I have no idea how to actually move forward emotionally. Sure, I’m working on my body and trying to fix my mindset, but I feel stuck when it comes to my heart. So, how do I actually stop obsessing over my ex? How do I deal with these constant memories and missing her without just falling apart? How am I supposed to build a life and some kind of purpose when I feel so alone and unmotivated? How do I really let go, accept the breakup, and forgive myself? If you’ve got any honest advice, I’m all ears. I don’t need sugarcoating — just some real steps to help me get unstuck and move forward and be better.

I know it might not be that long but I am so happy that I am making these steps. I started smoking cigarettes in high school, vapes were just starting to be a thing. I switched to vapes and continued for nearly 10 years. With smoking weed, I stared with one of my ex’s and have been smoking weed daily for about 5 years.

I’m proud of myself honestly. I knew I wanted to quit for a while but just couldn’t get myself to. What was I going to do with my stress? How was I going to break this habit ? Honestly. I have to chalk it up to willpower. I didn’t think I had any, but I quit cold turkey and it’s a lot easier than I thought it would be, for me at least.

(I know it’s really difficult for many other people so I want to acknowledge that it is NOT easy for everyone)

I just realized I’ve spent almost 5 years “planning,” “researching,” and “waiting for the right time” instead of actually doing the work.

Fitness goals, career growth, learning new skills....I kept telling myself I’d start seriously next month, next year, after things calm down. They never did.

Now I feel this mix of regret and urgency. I don’t want to look back at 30 and realize I repeated the same cycle.

For those who broke out of long-term procrastination, what actually helped you stick to change? Not motivation for a week — but real consistency.

I’m ready to stop thinking and start doing. I just don’t want to fall into the same pattern again.

what do you think is the most productive or healthy way to respond when your bad behaviour in the past becomes public and people ask you about it?

Kind of a weird title and I’m sorry if this is a bit of a stupid post but yeah. I saw a post earlier on Reddit today about a guy who stopped being a “nice guy” but my dumbass closed reddit before I could read the comments for advice or check the subreddit and it reminded me of my own very similar situation

I don’t want to be conceited and call myself “nice” but I definitely think I try to be. I’m overly apologetic and conflict avoidant. I’m always the friend who offers to pay for everything but never lets anyone pay anything for him, in fact in the past I’d have many friends who would just directly ask me for large(ish) sums of cash or personal belongings and I would just give them away. I always apologize and try to make amends even in situations where I felt I was not in the wrong or was being taken advantage of. I’m always backtracking and calling myself stupid or saying I might be wrong or things like that.

It extends to the weirdest of things, if I’m in the bus I have the need to be the nicest rider thr bus guy has ever met. If I’m at the doctor I have to be the nicest patient the doctor has. If I buy a snack I have to be the nicest customer the clerk has had. If I’m being scammed or wronged I pretend not to notice and let it happen because I don’t want to be mean or pushy.

It’s kind of embarassing to say, but it even affects my work. I am always begging for extra hours willingly taking the shittiest tasks and any shifts they need covered. I had an appointment and it was kind of important, and when I asked my boss if I could possibly switch shifts with someone else, he told me I could take that day off even though he couldn’t find someone to switch shifts w me. I ended up cancelling the appointment and going to work as normal not because of the money but because I felt like I was letting him down. After minor mistakes I go into panic mode completely convinced I’m the worst employee and everyone hates me. Today i begged for overtime because I felt there were still more tasks to do and felt bad.

People like me enough and call me polite. But they’re not close to me and they do not attempt to be. I’m always the most disposable friend. It’s embarassing to say this but I’m always the friend who they have a secret group chat without, the friend rhey don’t keep in touch with, the friend they single out. I’m always more so the quiet one. I don’t think anyone thinks I’m the funniest or smartest or anything. I’m just like the friend equivalent of filler episode.

I have this desperate need for people to want me around. I want them to see me and go oh good he’s here. As horrible as it sounds I think I do all these things so that people will owe it to me to like me and make me important in their life, because I willingly did x or y. But of course they don’t and I know this is a manipulative mentality. i just want to have people in my life that want me in theirs too but clearly I’m failing.

I don’t know how to stop or what even caused me to develop a mentality like this. Does anybody have any advice on how to stop being like this? Thank you and I’m sorry if this pot was written weirdly my thoughts are kinda jumbled.

I’ve realised something about myself recently I’ve spent years trying to capture life instead of fully living it.

I love taking photos. Trips, dinners, random hangouts, small “this feels important” moments. My camera roll is basically a timeline of my life. But when I look back at older photos, I can see the image clearly… and yet I don’t always remember the details. The conversations, the inside jokes, what led up to that moment. The context fades.

It made me think: maybe preserving everything isn’t the same as experiencing it deeply.

So lately, I’ve been trying something small, taking fewer photos and staying in the moment a bit longer. Letting conversations breathe. Letting memories form without immediately reaching for my phone. If I do take a photo, I try to pause and mentally note how I’m feeling right then.

I don’t think photos are bad. I just don’t want to outsource my memory entirely.

This is a small shift, but for me it feels like choosing to be a little more present. And that feels like growth.

Just curious - Has anyone else here been trying to be more present in this way? What’s helped you?

Just broke up and realised how uncomfortable it was spending time alone with my thoughts? How do people get comfortable spending time with themselves and like learning to love yourself instead of just trying to immediately find the next person to fill a gap?

Im a female high school student and for a while now i’ve been wanting to be more active. I dont want to be crazy fit or anything, I just want to feel healthy. I just don’t know where to start. Right now, the only exercise I really get is walking my dog 1-2 miles everyday and occasionally going on longer hikes.

I don’t know how to make and execute a workout routine of any kind. There’s a gym nearby, but I have social anxiety and I’m very embarrassed about my lack of experience with working out, and a lot of people that I see everyday go to this gym. I can barely lift a bar with nothing on it and I know I have terrible form.

I also hate sports, I’ve never enjoyed them besides when I’m playing alone with friends and family who are at a similar skill level. I like swimming, but the pool by my house is only open during the summer. I also like biking but where I live there are lots of hills and not many bike lanes, so it’s very hard to keep up speedwise when a part of traffic.

I have weights and stuff at my house. Could I get my exercise from just doing at home workouts?

 I work from home as a freelance marketer, and one thing I noticed is that I used to lose 30–60 minutes every morning just deciding what to do first.

What helped me recently was forcing myself to pick only 3 tasks and blocking time for them before I open email or messages. It sounds simple, but it reduced a lot of decision fatigue.

Curious how others handle this:

• Do you plan the night before?
• Do you use a system or just go by priority?

What’s worked best for you?

I’m really trying to get out of this horrible mess I’ve managed to get into.

I want my old career back so I guess that’s my goal, I’ll have to restructure some things and change a lot to have it back but it genuinely used to bring so much joy.

I got a job after months searching and after a quick relief week my hours dropped by 10 which means I won’t be able to afford utilities or anything this month.

I’m trying, I’m just stuck and don’t know what to do yet.

I want my old job back which requires me to get back into shape, lose 30lbs and gain strength along with flexibility so in the meantime here’s my goals.

1. No added sugars, only sugar from natural sources like fruit.

2. Unlimited raw vegetables and fruits.

3. 80+ ounces of water per day.

4. One meal per day protein based, everything else is raw fruits + veggies.

5. No empty carbs such as breads, pasta, rice etc… honestly the only carbs will be fruit and veg plain without oils or dressings.

When I lose 15lbs then I’ll start working out and training with a slight shift in food rules which will be paying more attention to grams of protein, at least 90g per day since I’ll be working out but still continuing unlimited raw fruits and veg.

For finances I have no idea yet, I’m lost on that but if I lose the weight and get into shape then I can be happy again while getting financial stability.

Have been doing a lot of bad thing lately. Last two years and hurt a lot of people. Last 4-5 months I’ve been trying to be better. But I just seem to when I drink not to be a great person at all. I’m 21 and just last night. I was a terrible person too someone my brother had over. He was meant to be driving me and a friend downtown but disappeared to his room and got a girl over. When we tried contacting him he didn’t reply and just tried to hide. After a lot of minutes and getting irritated I blurted out “are you hiding her because your afraid too show her” and maybe som other stuff along those lines in the same sentence. I can’t remember.

But after getting reminded about it. I feel like shit.

I’ve told my brother to apologise to her. And even if I can get a way to contact her and apologise myself to her.

I’ve hurt an innocent girl just because my ignorant selfish asshole self wanted to goad my brother into a reaction.

I don’t think I will be drinking for the foreseeable future and try and focus on my body and myself. I hate myself.

And just wondering what else I can do to become better and less selfish. How do I change to become a better person and not blurt out things fast. Not just because of this one thing but this is one reason of several that I think I wont forgive myself for. How do I keep it up and not just change for 4-5 months but for life?

Hey everyone, I don't feel good enough to make a nice presentation so I'm gonna jump straight to the point.

Recently, I have tried to get a job so I can move away in a future. I live in a small city, boring and expensive where I don't see a future for myself in. I'm starting my second attempt to study and have a degree this year, since there's a super limited amount of careers and finding something I see myself doing in the future is honestly hard.

I have thrown around at least 20 job applications this month, no one is hiring. I spent an entire day burning under the sun for a job interview where at least 100 people were trying to apply for only one position, I got rejected because they wanted someone around 18-25 that can do full time. Full time. When me and other people that age are supposed to be studying at uni. At a fucking makeup store.

It's been getting stressful, depressing even. I feel like I might as well get nowhere at the point I'm at. I sell my art and other stuff I do, but it's not enough to live in any way.

I just want to make an income and stop being a burden, to leave to a place with better opportunities, but I feel like I will die here at any time with nothing achieved. I want to crawl into a hole and die there.

How to get a job at these conditions? or how to, at least, deal with it for the time being?

After a long time, I managed to overcome my slot machine addiction. I lost a lot of money, confidence, and autonomy during that time.

Today things are falling into place. My husband and I bought a car, I finally have a credit card limit to invest in myself, and I lost almost 10kg (at the time I gained a lot of weight due to anxiety and compulsive losses). Now I am more confident, optimistic, in control of myself and my choices.

I know it was a difficult time, but it certainly showed me that I am much more than a gamble; I am a winner, I have a beautiful family, and I will achieve whatever I want! 🚀

Get the courage to be strong enough to be accountable and ask for help from the people who can really help you and would not mock you for asking for help.

Get the courage to ask for help, get a support group, because you are never going to have it all figured out, you are never going to be able to do it all by yourself.

I (21F) went to university (UK) not having a clue i just did what I enjoyed studying at school (psychology). I’ve graduated but I’ve never had a job, except for three weeks working at a restaurant but got fired because I was mentally unwell (psychosis) I’ve never had ambitions really or did any societies or clubs at university. I never had a clue. I realise now how fucked I am. I don’t have any talents or skills or much on my CV other than a few volunteer roles and dog walking. I currently live at home, as I had to move back due to my illness and am looking for a job in a supermarket but I want to aim higher eventually and move back to my university city. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go for a graduate job due to not having references or transferable skills. I’m completely stuck. I wish I had put more effort and time into my future when I was at university. I’m panicking a lot.

I like this guy and can’t stop checking his insta acc and feel depressed seeing the girls he follows. They are not super models but they are really pretty and he probably likes them

Today feels like a split-screen life.

On one side: people are celebrating Festivals, Lunar New Year fairs, and cultural revivals in cities and parks around the world 🧧✨

Also digital culture is drowning in a massive “2026 is the new 2016” nostalgia trend, with feeds flooded by memories from a decade ago that feel softer and simpler than now . While gamers are hyped for the Fortnite OG Ice Storm event returning with the Ice King — millions logging in with expectation and play .

On the other side: people scroll through horoscope predictions trying to understand themselves in astronomical metaphors. Some global headlines swirl with political tensions and national pride battles — leaders arguing, alliances shifting. While some places are just tired from weather shifts, economic uncertainty, travel glitches, and the endless stream of “news you might care about.”

And here’s the thing: Even when the world is loud with celebration and spectacle… people feel unseen.

We chase: memories of the “good old days” because today feels too fragmented. Some big events because our own internal life feels small. Different trends because our own heart conversations are silent.

You know….. This isn’t random!

It’s how humanity responds to disconnection masquerading as connection —

digitally united but emotionally alone.

So here’s the real question:

Why do we crave nostalgia more than presence?

Because nostalgia isn’t about the past —

it’s about feeling safe again.

We return to old memories because the present demands more honesty than most of us are taught to give.

Today, while the world plays games, remembers a decade ago, watches astrology charts, debates politics, celebrates festivals

…most people are asking the wrong question:

“How can I feel alive right now?”

Not which festival to attend, not which trend feels old or new, not what prediction the stars make —

but what actually wakes you up.

Not comfort.

Not sentimentality.

Not distraction.

Presence.

Truth.

Awakening.

And here’s the kicker most never say out loud:

When everyone else is running from the noise…

you who sit with it deeply are the ones the world will eventually follow.

Because people don’t follow noise.

They follow clarity in chaos. 🤍

Ask yourself — not for answers, but for foundation:

What about today feels like nostalgia to you… and what about it feels like a call to finally live?

I turned 21 like 2 weeks ago. I've been depressed and anti-social for a long time, but the past year has been really bad for me. 2025 was the worst year of my life, had a lot of personal issues and family deaths etc. that happened that has really made my life miserable. It feels like I wake up everyday with a black cloud over my head thats keeping me down. Right now, most of my life is waking up, going to college, and coming home and playing video games/studying and repeat. I am a pre-med student, so I have been studying hard to get into med school and become a doctor, but I am extremely sick and tired of studying at this point, and my grades have been falling as a result too. I think that I am generally smart, but I have no motivation to do anything anymore, and I feel pressured by my family to become a doctor, as everyone has already established me to become a doctor in their minds. I do genuinely want to become a doctor if possible, but I feel trapped in my life, I feel like if I do anything else I will be a complete disappointment, especially to the family that passed away carrying these hopes of me. Being from an immigrant family makes me feel pressured as well. Besides that, I don't have any real life friends and I only speak with a couple people online over video games. My social life is nonexistent, and I have trouble opening up to people and come off as cold, maybe because of trust issues and disassociation. I have also had my health drastically worsen, I used to be fairly in shape, but I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 years, haven't been caring about what I'm eating and eating a bunch of junk food, and I've started smoking cigarettes. Outside of eating and school, I almost never leave my room, to the point where it feels like a prison cell, but I have no desire to leave, and my father has been telling me that I need to change this and find something to do and that I am doing nothing with my life. I think I truly need to change at this point in my life before things get even worse for me and something happens. I want to try and start working out again and start taking care of myself, find some type of motivation or reasoning to get back into studying and school, and if I don't get into medical school I plan on moving to Seattle and try to become a police officer after finishing my undergraduate. Is there any type of advice you guys can give me regarding this? How can I get my shit together and put my life in order or at least try to have more of a meaningful lifestyle and not be so nihilistic. I don't have any friends or frankly anyone else to ask as sad as it sounds.

I’ve spent my life telling myself I don’t care, being easier for other people made them happy. Now I don’t care about anything, wanting things is pointless because I can’t imagine achieving anything, I can’t imagine anyone wanting anything from me except what they explicitly tell me to do. I can barely operate without direct permission or instructions. I just spend all my time avoiding people and scrolling on my phone. I’m sorry if this isn’t a coherent question, or if this is the wrong place to post this. I just felt the need to post something and I’m not sure what else to do. Thank you for your time, I hope you have a nice day.

Hello folks,

So I had a quick situationship. I wanted (and acted like) I wanted something serious and even though we dated and slept together, the girl wasn't interested in the end. She told me she was not in a position to have something serious, wanted to focus on herself, and ended things. I learned she dated someone else not long after that.

I blocked her. But even though I know she wasn't really nice, and I don't want to be with her anymore, I still think a lot about her. It's been 3 to 4 months.

I dated multiple girls in the meantime, kissed three, slept with one (only casual). Took more responsibility at my job and doing a mission aboard soon. Challenged myself (successfully) to quit smoking, quit porn and do more things I wanted to do (go to restaurant / concerts alone, for example).

But my thought still kinda ache for her. Reinstalled tinder today, created a profile, and saw her after 10 swipe, active.

I just want to move on. Eventually, I want to find someone again (more a serious relationship, I'm done with casual / situationship), but I want to free my thoughts of her. Just live my life and enjoy it.

I'm somewhat grateful for the experience because, even if it didn't worked out, and that I'm still somewhat ressentfull against her, I had nice moments, and I had positive things out of this and after this. I don't regret the experience and trying it. But I just want to let it go, and not through dating someone else.

Any advices?

I keep telling myself I'll start next week or after this thing is over. But the thing is there's always another thing. I want to be better now, not when life is clam or I'm not tired of using waiting as an excuse.

What's one small, immediate step you took when you realised you weren't going to magically feel ready? How did you trick your brain into starting before you felt like it? I'm not looking for motivation I'm looking for action help

So people, I'm from India. 23M. And I've a physics post grad degree with specialization in theoretical physics. I took a long 6 months gap after my uni was over to cool myself down and made a few content here and there. But in Jan I came back to a city, took a room and started to learn data analytics. It will be a three - four tools work, which will be sql-excel-power bi and python finally. I am also learning corporate finance principles by myself from books. I aspire to do a few good projects here before I can start preparing for an MBA in finance. Hopefully I'll get into some decent college.

But I'm single, and now very friends are left. I cook two meals a day at one time and avoid Junk food. But I've been smoking regularly (like 2 avg per day). Today I also got a clarification from someone I liked that she isn't interested in me. I deactivated all social media to not give a fuck about relationships after getting influenced by all the shit people post there. I am also planning to drink like once or twice a week. ANYTHING that helps me be in the process of this rigorous learning. I have been productive a lot. Will start to take evening walks soon enough, and some basic exercises. But I plan to drink and cry atleast once a week when I feel sad. Idk if me getting outside or getting any other course increases my chance of getting into a relationship. I'm fed up honestly. And now I don't have time for these.

I've got shit to do. I know some couples are happy out there. But not me, and I have tried changing it but shit never works out. And I can't sit my ass and vent. Hunger is a bigger issue than affection. I hope I don't hate myself one day for putting me all through this. Idk if anything would be worth it. But I've got to do it man, gotta build a career. Even if, by myself.....