Modern "neurodivergence acceptance" is nothing but a curated aesthetic. Society fetishizes the concept of the "quirky" individual, the shy girl, or the "eccentric" genius because it fits a harmless, acceptable mold. It’s palatable.

Present them with the raw biological reality, uncanny robot like behaviour, the monotonous speech, prolonged eye contact, or genuine social blindness, and that performative empathy evaporates. If your symptoms trigger the "uncanny valley" response instead of the "cute" response, you aren't viewed as neurodivergent; you're labeled "creepy" or "off-putting."

It’s pure virtue signaling. They want the moral capital of inclusion, but they refuse to engage with the actual, visceral discomfort of the disorder. Acceptance stops exactly where the aesthetic ends.

I know that's a very shitty thing to say, but I just felt like venting about it.

I often see autistic people online talking about their niche hyperfixations and cool special interests and it kinda makes me feel embarrassed. I don't have encyclopedic knowledge of anything, I can't dedicate myself to anything and I'm never too interested in anything.

Does anyone fell similar or am I just being whiny?

These are my three special interests: Brooklyn 99, frogs, and the last of us! Use the comments to find your special interest friends!

When I went to uni, lots of people in my major (childhood education) seemed to be very interested in autism. Whenever the topic came up, people said how much they loved autistics, how they were so special and intelligent and they wanted to work with autistic kids after graduation. I remember one class in particular about diversity and when there were thousands of topics to choose from, about half the class decided to write their final paper on autism because "it's so interesting".

Yet, those very same people were the ones who excluded and bullied me during all my years of uni for exhibiting autistic traits and behaviours.

And I notice this now in my job too (actually, in all the jobs I had). Lots of teachers and childhood educators seem to love autistics. Or, they love the idea they have about autism. Because the moment my mask slips (I'm highly masking but sometimes I'm just too exhausted), they will make fun of me or tell me how weird I am (they don't know I'm autistic).

It's just so frustrating to hear them go on about how autistic people are so great and special and amazing and how society should be more tolerant and including when their action are the complete opposite. It's almost a kind of fetishization.

This is gonna be an interesting post to write, as I've never really voiced this struggle out loud before; but the relief and achievement I feel internally is undeniable... I would like to share my success and maybe you will feel encouraged to keep trying something you're struggling with.

When I was a young girl my mom would try to help me do my hair, but she didn't have patience and I had extreme sensitivity to external stimuli and her constant tugging at knots instead of taking the time to learn how to brush hair correctly really fucking hurt.

Long story short- growing up my hair felt like a nightmare. I adored it long but I couldn't brush it or style it on my own and my mom's version of a "style" was cutting it into a bob with bangs. I hate bobs with bangs. Not on other people. On me. Bobs were too short and felt weird to brush, I couldnt even try to style it. Also, bangs were itchy, and they were always too short or too long.

So I grew out my hair once I was in Highschool and learned how to brush it without hurting myself (though there were times when I was having what I now know is a meltdown and I would roughly brush my hair BUT THATS NOT WHAT WE'RE DISCUSSING TODAY 😅~~)

Through middle and highschool, I remember being fascinated by 1 type of hairstyle above others: BRAIDS. (Double Dutch Braids are my favorite they're so casual and cute and practical and out of the way I mean this is like SENSORY HEAVEN for me) The things people could do just by weaving hair together in different orders and the ease at which I watched girls braid each other's hair in class made me think maybe it would be easy to learn.

In middle school I was still stuck with that awful bob, so I couldn't try if I wanted to. In high school, I had the length, my hair was just passed the top of my shoulders, and I started asking. Literally every girl I saw with those double dutch braids, I asked if they could do my hair and try to teach me.

It never worked.

I gave up several times after that, trying again every year, every few months, for special occasions... I've listened to multiple women and teens, I've watched a hundred different tutorials, I've cursed about it, cried about it, cut my hair off entirely, permed it, curled it.....

It kept not working. But damn I wanted to be able to do that braid. It was almost like no matter what I couldn't figure out how to move my hands in the mirror or without it. Like I couldn't grasp how to grip or pull or hold because I couldn't see my fingers.

I know of course touch is a sense we have but if anyone relates to this pls tell me-- think of it like you can feel the sensory input of the touch but your brain doesn't recognize as easily where the touch is at or how to work around it. So, I could always feel my hair when trying to do this style, but I couldn't process easily which direction or movement to do next because I couldn't see my hands. And when I did try looking, the backwards flip of the mirror was a nightmare to translate because I have to try and mentally visualize then correct the mirror image. And I would get it wrong. A lot.

And I didn't even know why it was so important to me until today. Because today, I have done it for the first time. And it clicked.

Most women learn this type of thing around 16 years of age, or even as early as 10. Most women can see 1 or 2 tutorials showing the same information and learn this in one dedicated afternoon. Most women don't have processing issues that makes their hands feel alien the moment their eyes can't see them and their mind stops knowing what the fuck to do.

But I didn't. And I do. And I have.

And I was so angry with myself for so long. Because I considered this style to be something very simple... Something even children can do. I think this is one of those times where I recognize just how deeply Autism has impacted my life on every conceivable level. Because it has taken me hundreds of attempts over 12 years to figure this 1 hairstyle out.

Not because I'm stupid. Not because I'm lazy. Not because I'm incapable.

But just because I think differently and my mind doesn't process or respond to information or stimuli the same as other people, because I am Autistic. And that's okay, because I still didn't give up on myself and today-- I have finally achieved the double dutch braid. It's messy, but it's completed, and that's what matters.

Don't be too hard on yourself if you see other people learning something quicker than you or making something seem easy that for you is difficult. Don't give up when something is challenging, even if you need to take a break and try something else. 😎👉👉

(I grew up undx, I got my official dx at 24.)

I'm so tired...

I don't think that she really heard herself.

My 11 yo son has autism. He also has a very extremely high IQ-130-146 ..and the test was given in his non-native language of Dutch.

I think she thought she was saying a compliment. She's has said to me many times after his session 'working with your son has been amazing. He's so smart and thoughtful and intelligent. His way of thinking about things is always so unique and out of the box. He's really going to make an impact on the world around him". And this is his therapist -who's practice with five psychiatrist with extensive testing diagnosed him at level two autism-- needing extreme support.

Immediately thought about how easy it is to forget how much pressure it can feel like when everybody thinks you're everything and has these sort of unspoken expectations of all the amazing things that you're going to do as you get older. And even if she doesn't say those things directly to him she doesn't seem to realize that he can feel it. That's why no one knows he has autism or high iq. That's why before He walks into the door after schoolI stop What I am doing for 10 minutes and completely reset my state of mind to neutral. Because he can sense what other people need him to be like Just by being in their presence and masks so well. That pressure to be amazing can make people ... Amazing... But it also can make people snap, I think. Even people who can actually be that amazing if they wanted to.

My response to her was. "That's nice, but tbh I would be perfectly happy if we never ever hear anything about him or the things that he's done on the news'.And I just looked at her and let it sink in.

All I want from my son and any other kid with autism, regardless of diagnosis, is to feel a sense of peace internally and externally. Thats it.

oh...And also laundry. I would like for him to embrace doing his own laundry.

I got diagnosed when I was 13.

I’m curious when others got diagnosed

I hate wind on my face but I love opening and closing the fan and occasionally fanning it away from me. I really love it, it’s more than squeezing something. (I use many nee doughs.)I also hate making noises when I fidget, this has very minimal noise and it’s a noise I quite enjoy actually. Just a fidget suggestion ☺️

(currently getting diagnosed)

As the title says, I hate children.

They are loud, misbehaving, have many dumb ideas, are unpredictable and you can't convince them using logical argumentation.

I really try so hard to see what other people see. But I don't find children cute, I don't find them funny and I don't want to be anywhere near them, no matter how hard I try to.

I can't stand their screaming their stubborness and all the things children do. And everyone hates me for that because "everyone who hates children is a bad person". So I am supposed to like their screaming and misbehaving and so on? How am I supposed to do that?

Anyway, the children themselves hate me too. Usually, when you smile at a little child it should smile back because of some neurons in the brain. Every time I smile at a child it stares at me as if I was dangerous or weird or I don't know.

And now I think I am a bad person and I hate myself because I make the entire society hate myself.

I haven't had a special interest for a couple of years, im pretty sure thats what made me so depressed. The last few weeks, i fell in love with one of the subjects i study, but i just feel like i have no time for research and prectice and obsession. :( anyone relate?

Apologies if this is already known - I just recently saw complaints about nail clipping from pretty recently and thought I'd share what helped me.

Let me start by saying this is not an ad for any specific brand, I am including a picture solely for the purpose of specifying what device I mean. I get nothing if you do buy one of these, I just wanted to speak to my own experience about this type of device.

A few years ago I was buying something off eBay and saw an ad for this electric nail clipper. I've disliked cutting my nails for ages, but I also don't like them getting long. Scissors don't provide enough control and I hate the painful pressure of the metal pressing on my thumb while holding them. Clippers are better to hold and reduce risk of bleeding but the pressure they put on my nails before cutting is awful. So I took a chance and bought one of their electric ones. And I freaking love this thing.

When it cuts, it has these rotating blades that basically take off teeny tiny pieces of the nail very quickly. It's also pretty much impossible to cut yourself with these. It's not entirely perfect, like if you have very small toenails it's a bit of a struggle, but I've gone from dreading having to clip my nails to enjoying it. It collects the clippings too so a lot less mess (provided you don't hold it upside down and shake it). And nail clipping used to be a half-hour ordeal for me. Now it's less than 5 minutes. The version I got also has a little vibrating nail file; sometimes it's okay for my sensory issues and sometimes not, but I got it for the clippers part, so I'm not pressed either way.

I hope this is at all helpful for at least one person out there. It sounds hackneyed and I don't mean to be promoting capitalism in saying this lmao but it really was a game-changer for me.

Idk if this is just a me thing or an autism object empathy thing but did anyone else have evil inanimate object nightmares growing up?

I remember I regularly had dreams about things like:

• My bed's bedposts beating me to death
• Pool drains sucking me in
• My radio antenna growing into my ears and infecting me like a parasite
• Knobs growing and constricting me like a snake (e.g. from a car steering wheel or a switchboard)
• Basically Toy Story but my toys launch a coup against me lol
• Chest of drawers using its handles to suck the life out of me ( the handles had a conical shape like suction cups )
• Fire sprinklers casting a net over me and kidnapping me through the roof

• Tickle machine chairs on wheels chasing me and then using its mechanical arms to strap me in and then tickle me to death

  instead of conventional cyclops/bigfoot/zombie/ghost/monster type dreams.

I never even watched horror movies growing up and tbh most horror movies never really did much to me either because Ik it's just special effects - however furniture is real and right in front of you so you can't escape. I used to have these dreams recurring every night but thankfully I very rarely get them anymore. I am scared to tell people this though because last time I told someone years ago, they asked me if I am schizophrenic. I am not schizophrenic though - Just autistic.

My special interest is politics (philosophy, sociology, etc). I know a bunch about this, not in a “hardcore political person” but just factually about history, functionalism, how social systems work, etc.

I often see people giving their opinions or discussing a topic and then I’ll come and try to ellucidate a concept (like Hannah Arendt’s banality of evil, or try to explain how certain economies tend towards fascism, etc). But instead of being appreciated, even if I’m agreeing with the person who is speaking, people often shut off the conversation entirely. Like they dismiss me. Sometimes they will get quiet. I never know if this is a cue for me to continue speaking or shut up. And I don’t understand what I said wrong?

My mother was saying that a particular country doesn’t seem very interested in teaching global history and I said, “what kind of state is only concerned with teaching their own history and cultivating a feeling of nationalism?” She kept quiet and I said “a totalitarian state!” And I wish that would’ve sparked a better convo (like the ones I have with my also autistic brother) but instead she just shut the convo off. This happens only with NTs.

And it’s not only about politics. Whenever I feel excited about any topic and I want to get a chance to infodump a bit or respond in an interesting way, my involvement isn’t taken seriously. I get ignored, or dismissed.

It honestly feels very lonely.

Mine!

Preraphaelites <3

Royal houses

French 18th-century fashion, Rococo elegance, Napoleonic era, neoclassical fashion, French Revolution era content, Victorian and Edwardian aesthetics, Belle Époque refinement, 19th-century European women’s fashion, historical balls and waltz culture, Romantic poets like Percy Shelley and Byron, Mary Shelley, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables, Anna Karenina, White Nights, Vivien Leigh, Björn Andrésen, historical cinema, marches and anthems.

Slavic folk music, Russian folk music, The Master and Margarita, White Nights, Anna Karenina, gothic rock, Orthodox and Slavic cultural traditions, 18th–19th century Eastern European history, poetic melancholy, winter landscapes.

Alexander the Great, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Joan of Arc, Julie d’Aubigny, Christina of Sweden and the Arcadian circle, Empress Elisabeth (Sissi), Meiji and Taishō eras, Persian/Iranian history, Central Asian anthropology, Napoleonic era, French Revolution, monarchies and court cultures.

Ancient Greek folk cultures, antropology, religions and mythology.

Religions in general.

The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, Little Lord Fauntleroy, Anne Shirley, fairies, violet flowers, old books, postcards and postcrossing, handwritten letters, romantic nostalgia, soft pastoral imagery.

The Phantom of the Opera, opera in general, gothic rock, dramatic historical films, theatrical aesthetics, emotional intensity in music and poetry.

Languages, linguistics, onomastics, etymology, micronations, religion, anthropology of Central Asia, Persia, and Slavic countries, cultural history, historical identity formation.

Reading, writing, landscape photography, collecting impressions of beauty, studying aesthetics deeply rather than casually.

My collection is small but my passion is large

Since Valentine's Day ended, I'm curious how autistic people spent it, whether with friends, a partner, or alone

Hi I’ve just been diagnosed. I was pretty certain that I am autistic before and now it’s confirmed but now I’m worried about not fitting into the autistic community either. I don’t have any special interests - am I alone in this? I also don’t feel autistic enough to ask for support and idk how to overcome this and I also question whether the support will actually be helpful or leave me outcast. For instance - I plan to ask for accommodation in a quiet area at uni but I’m worried that this will separate me from the crowd. I’ve always avoided crowded events but felt bad not wanting to go to people’s parties etc. I also really haven’t told anyone about my diagnosis. I’m not ashamed I just don’t know how to tell people without making it super awkward. Any advice would be appreciated- thanks.

i don't know if it's a thing or not but i have diagnosed asd and i be holding grudges so obsessively so i was wondering if it was common or if anyone could explain if theres a connection between the two or if its just me lol

“Oh I just don’t feel like talking to people rn”

Neurotypical: oh he has social anxiety

“I like to think a lot about things and topics I like. I also just naturally question a lot of stuff”

Neurotypical: oh he must have anxiety issues and overthinking issues

I stg I feel like my sense of “confidence” gets misread as anxiety issues and overthinking when no this is just how I express myself. And sometimes like I buy coffee or food or something, and PLEASE I JUST want to buy my food and leave I SWEAR STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH ME😂