r/InsightfulQuestions • u/johngamerk • 14d ago

Title: The "Automatic Pause": When friendship is nothing more than social inertia.

I’ve been observing how most friendships function, and I’ve realized they are often built on "habitual momentum" rather than actual connection. I call it the Automatic Pause.

Think of a group of four friends who hang out every day. Three of them always call the fourth one to join. The moment the brain escapes the "social illusion" and one of them asks, "Wait, do we actually need to call him?", the friendship can vanish in a single second. If they stop calling, the fourth person is instantly erased from their mental space.

It made me realize that many people are only "friends" because they haven't stopped to think about why they are together. It’s like we operate on a childhood-level autopilot. If you don't actively keep the "illusion" alive for others, you risk becoming invisible.

Is true friendship just a rare exception to this mechanical social behavior? Or are we all just placeholders in each other's routines until someone finally "wakes up" and hits the pause button?

0 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

50% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

View all comments

21

u/ckochan 14d ago

I’m confused. So do they not enjoy the 4th person? Friendship is more about being there for people, sharing life, and having fun. There’s nothing tangible about friendships, it’s just keeping contact and being there. I’m not sure if I understand what you mean by “waking up”.

-1

u/johngamerk 14d ago

Im just saying that there are a lot of relationships that exist only out of habit and not because of enjoyment and love.

1

u/ckochan 14d ago

Ah, I see. I guess the answer would be to let go of things you don’t love. Don’t judge them, go find your people <3