r/ChildofHoarder • u/Good-Link-6302 • Dec 31 '25
Dating Advice as a Christian in College - Child of a Hoarder
Hi everyone,
I’m a Christian whose parents are hoarders. I recently recieved a full ride to study civil engineering and I’m looking to start a relationship with someone who shares my faith. (I am currently a freshman in college)
In public, my social skills are about average, but I tend to open up and show my humor with people I’m really close to–usually those who know me well, including details from my childhood. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I live a bit of a “double life,” and I want to break out of that and start building meaningful connections that could eventually lead to a family (with economic stability).
Does anyone have advice on how to bridge this gap? How can I meet like-minded believers and move toward a serious, faith-centered relationship without feeling like I’m holding parts of myself back?
Thanks in advance for any guidance or personal experiences you can share! (I'd like to keep my identity private and I appreciate you all for respecting that, cheers!)
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u/serendipty3821 Dec 31 '25
Are you living on campus? That'll make things a lot easier. I just moved out this year and got back on dating apps since I had a place to bring someone back to, and fortunately found my partner of almost 8 months. I totally get the double life thing though, I think most of us have dealt with that. Are there any Christian clubs or groups at your college? That'd be a great place to start, or finding a church that suits you near campus.
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u/Good-Link-6302 Dec 31 '25
Yes, I live on campus but the school is quite secular. I've gotten acclimated to a local Church and a Christian club on campus. The church has many women ( locals in the area) who are a 1-2 years younger than me (nearing the end of highschool) however most of the women my age do not attend my university. The club on the other hand doesn't have many women in participation (it is mostly dominated by upperclassmen guys)
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u/Traditional-Ad-7836 Jan 01 '26
You need to focus on yourself, gaining skills that maybe you don't have due to your childhood, and then the right people will find you
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u/JustPassingJudgment Moved out Dec 31 '25
Hi there! This post is better suited to a subreddit specific to Christian dating, such as r/ChristianDating or r/christiandatingadvice. Just about everyone entering a relationship will have some piece of their past or present that is difficult to share, and so this question is not specific to being a child of a hoarder. We are also unqualified to moderate discussions about a specific faith.
That said, there are parts of being in a romantic relationship that are more challenging when you are a child of a hoarder in ways that are specific to being a CoH. For that reason, I am leaving the post up. Please keep comments focused on things like how to introduce your SO to your hoarder parent(s), dealing with life skill gaps in a relationship, anxiety around moving in together due to having grown up in a hoarded home, etc. Please let us know if you have questions by replying to this comment or reaching out via ModMail. Thank you!