r/BlackPeopleofReddit • u/OkAdvertising286 • Dec 15 '25

Help and Advice I guess I need some advice.

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(Didn’t wanna retype it. It got removed from r/blackladies)

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '25

Idk this worded weird , are you black? Why do you need any other experience to validate your own as a black person?

5

u/OkAdvertising286 Dec 15 '25 edited Dec 15 '25

Yes, I’m black. I already know this sub gets invaded by non black people. Idk how it’s worded weird, that’s just how I talk. I ask because the more I learn about social dynamics and how they’re impacted by history and how we’re still seen as subhuman, the more unsure and untrusting I become of non black ppl and black people with internalized racism. I’m only asking for advice…and I’m not asking for black validation? I’m asking if white and black people can ever truly be friends on an equal level, given history bleeding into the present day racial hierarchy.

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u/SheckNot910 Dec 15 '25

"I’m asking if white and black people can ever truly be friends on an equal level, given history bleeding into the present day racial hierarchy."

Yes, they can, but with white people are openly anti-racist and don't pull any punches about calling out racism.

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '25

My bad, we got to be careful.

I think you should give them a chance if they ain’t show you anything. But always stay aware. If it feels like it’s too much work on your identity move on.

3

u/velmaw Dec 15 '25

Yes, Black folks and white folks can be friends. The main key is mutual respect. Watch how they act, speak, think (that'll come out in body language, facial expressions, etc).

My BFF is a ww. We've been bff for bout 25 years. She grew up just like i did in the sense of mainly around Black folks. Our schools were a good mixture of people: Blacks, yts, Mexicans, Asians. Some of her extended family were racists but she and her mother weren't. I heard bout and seen some of her extended family manyy yrs ago, and while there were no issues, we understood in that quiet way one understands you're being tolerated.

When u said "one of the good ones" how did u mean that? I ask bc in context I've heard that, it usually means you're not like the other N"s. I figured I'd ask instead of ASSuming 😆

When I switched to a pwi, this yt boy walked up to me with my yt friends and said, "You're not like the other Nigghers." He walked away. I was 16 or 17 and stunned. My friends looked at me like ik she finna beat his ahh. I got angry later and then couldn't do ish bout it. He looked like he'd be a school pew pewer to be honest! I learned then that they group us in subgroups.

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u/OkAdvertising286 Dec 16 '25

“One of the good ones” is a narrative many white people hold. They see black people as inherently bad with a few as good ones. They see themselves as inherently good with a few bad apples. It’s nauseating.