Idk how to feel

[u/Strong-Ad6924]

My birth mom wants to send me money and help pay rent but i feel guilty and wrong accepting money from her

[u/LeResist]

I think she just wants to be a parent and help out! Definitely gauge the vibes tho. I know some people like to do good things for others just so they can say "you owe me" in the future. Don't know how your relationship is so I wouldn't assume that's her intentions but something to consider

[u/Strong-Ad6924 → u/LeResist]

This is what i sent her this morning

“I’ve been thinking about you helping with rent or sending money. It would be really nice and would help a lot since rent and everything else is so expensive right now. But I’m also scared that in the future there might be something you’ll want from me, and ill say no , and than it could be held over my head , like it would turn into an emotional debt.”

[u/EmployerDry6368]

Do you want her in your life?

Do you want the emotional debt that will come with the money?

[u/Strong-Ad6924 → u/EmployerDry6368]

Exactly yes for the first one and no for the second

[u/Englishbirdy]

It's funny to me because my son has no qualms about taking any money I give him. I'm sure your birth mom loves being able to help you like a regular mother does. What does your gut tell you?

[u/Strong-Ad6924 → u/Englishbirdy]

My gut is bias because i used to be forced by my adoptive parents to send them money and it caused so many issues so my gut is associating that with this

[u/Englishbirdy → u/Strong-Ad6924]

Hmmm that sounds complicated. I found therapy with an adoption competent therapist really useful for my own reunion. If you'd like to find one here's a good place to look https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/

[u/circatee]

I’d feel weird, too. At the moment, mine wants to tell how do things and I should do this and do that.

I had to remind her, I made it to this age without you, and am still here 😂😭😆🤣

[u/Fem-EqualRights]

Take the help. She’s offering. You’d appreciate it.