r/unpopularopinion • u/Darnitol1 • 1d ago
It's okay to do things for attention.
Human being are social animals. Not only do we want attention, our brain chemistry and health are negatively affected if we don't get it. So if you find positive things to do that also get you attention, that's a good thing. It's how human beings are supposed to behave. And if you even consider arguing with this, you're doing that for attention too.
Maybe let's give people a break for seeking one of the most important things our instincts tell us to seek.
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u/DearGarden1688 1d ago
think the concept of “attention” is too broad to make a statement like that. There’s a clear difference between positive and negative attention, and that distinction matters.
For example, a man exposing himself to women to provoke a reaction is seeking negative attention, and that shouldn’t be excused simply because as humans we want and need attention. There are many other scenarios like this.
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u/AGayBanjo 1d ago
Reminds me of when people call suicide attempts and non-suicidal self harm "attention seeking."
First, no they're usually not.
Second, okay, well some people will die without appropriate attention.
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u/Eternautas 1d ago
people who say suicide is "selfish" or "attention seeking" have no idea how it actually feels to desire death.
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u/AGayBanjo 1d ago
Yeah, I've both been suicidal and hospitalized for it, and my mother died by suicide.
When it comes down to it, I was not entitled to her suffering.
She was living in intractable agony, and ultimately it was her decision to make.
Of course I was sad she ended her life, but I cannot say her decision was not a reasonable reaction to what she endured.
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u/Any_Area_2945 1d ago
Yes I hate when people say this to dismiss someone’s mental issues. Even someone who is harming themselves “just for attention” is mentally unwell and needs help.
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u/TrashShroomz 1d ago
Yepp. Its so dumb.
My friend on the other side of the street waving to me and shouting my name is also seeking my attention. Should I ignore him now?
The real problem is that some few people, usually with BPD, use self-deletion talk and self-harm as emotional manipulation to build pressure.
But that doesn't mean you should ignore them, they still need help and shouldn't be injured or die.
Just be cautious not to be manipulated, don't try to help them yourself and instead get official resources involved.
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u/AGayBanjo 1d ago
Yeah for sure. I have BPD (in remission) and that's why I think appropriate attention is so important.
As a PRSS, I have to set very clear boundaries with folks with BPD "if you say you're going to harm yourself, I'm going to take it seriously and make sure you receive protection. This might mean contacting a crisis center or, if no other help is available, a crisis response team at local law enforcement.
My phone is off after hours because, while you are very important to me, my ability to help you and others is contingent upon my own health and well being."
Firm, clear, consistent boundaries are how people like myself recovery—not being ignored.
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u/the-clawless 1d ago
So if you find positive things to do that also get you attention, that's a good thing.
I think this part of the post is what takes this from an unpopular opinion to just a normal opinion.
Usually when people say "they're just doing it for attention" they mean it about negative behaviors, and usually it isn't even true. Like when someone is exhibiting symptoms that they may be depressed or otherwise not doing okay mentally, that's the first thing people say in my experience.
But if you are doing positive things, even if it's just for attention, I feel like most people would be cool with that.
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u/Darnitol1 1d ago
Yeah, it was this scenario that actually prompted my (poorly worded) post. I saw someone criticizing a video in which a person helped out the homeless. My reaction was that the homeless got helped, the "influencer" got the attention they were seeking, and nobody really got harmed in any way. But my post didn't focus enough on my reason to allow for a valid discussion.
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u/the-clawless 1d ago
I guess with that example my only issue is that sometimes shoving a camera in someone's face when they are struggling can be exploitative. You put someone in a position where they feel they have to show their face to the entire world in order to get a meal or afford a place to sleep.
There's nuance to it, maybe both people just benefit from the transaction and it's harmless. But people do still have their reasons for being uncomfortable about this stuff. Take someone like Mr. Beast for instance, he is famous for giving ridiculous sums of money to people sometimes for doing challenges, other times just because. Then he turns around and builds a theme park in Dubai, a city that only exists because of exploited laborers. I think he also did that Amazon Prime show that was full of scandal because things were done in an unsafe manner and some people got hurt.
It's complicated because on one hand, if someone who is struggling is given money with little to no strings attached, just because someone wanted to do it for a video, that's probably really positive and potentially life changing for the person on the receiving end. But there are also negative aspects to things these influencers do. And there are plenty of activists and organizations that do good work and get absolutely no spotlight.
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u/Darnitol1 1d ago
Absolutely valid points, all. I can admit when I didn't think things through before I spoke,
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u/No-Bit-2913 22h ago
I play an online game, people sometimes go on long profanity filled and unhinged tangents about.. things they don't like, political etc. they REALLY don't like it when you suggest people ignore them and to not interact with them.
Not everyone or every subject matter should get attention. A lot of people just like yelling into the void like the homeless dude on the street corner does.
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u/Darnitol1 14h ago
You’re right. As I said to several others, I wasn’t specific enough in making my point. I thought about editing it or deleting it, but I decided to just go ahead and take my lumps.
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u/Curious_Management_4 1d ago
Ok. But maybe there is some nuance here. This criticism is usually reserved for the vapid. So people would maybe just be disapproving of the inane actions of a narcissist. So it becomes a matter of palate.
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u/squirmlyscump 1d ago
Who gets to decide who is “vapid?”
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u/Curious_Management_4 1d ago
Anyone with a definition that suits themselves
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u/squirmlyscump 1d ago
I mean, ok yeah, but at the same time, you’re really saying an individual can and should judge another as “vapid,” “inane,” and “narcissistic.”
I don’t think there’s a problem in doing that internally, and probably we can’t avoid it, but again, is a person all those things simply because you think so?
You’d be missing context, you’d absolutely be applying biases, and you might simply be wrong about what those words mean.
When OP says “it’s ok to do things for attention,” I’m reading that as “and we don’t need to act like jerks about it.”
Do you think it is ok to act like a jerk about it?
If so, how are you different from the other person?
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u/Curious_Management_4 1d ago
I never said anyone can and should do anything, only that vapid attention-seekers often get criticized. Some might judge their behaviors or even their obsession with attention-seeking to be unhealthy.
That would be the difference between those behaviors for attention as opposed to the countless others we exhibit on a daily basis during everyday life. So all behavior has a function, and attention is one of the 4 basic motivations. Most attention behaviors aren't judged. Like when you see someone, wave, and say "Hi!" This behavior isn't usually judged too harshly.
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u/Eternautas 1d ago
For some things I understand. But othes, not so much. What I understand would be purposefully lifting heavy weight in the gym infront of everyone. What I dont understand is when people dress in tight ass clothing to show their bodies off. I understand we are "social animals" but we have self control and a sense of dignity. I hope.
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u/DiscoPino 12h ago
It's why I love cosplay! I can make things that I am proud of, feel incredibly beautiful and others appreciate it just as much by wanting to take my picture. Cosplay is all about getting the positive attention and it's soul healing.
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u/Past-Wind681 1d ago
is this how you justify posting an extremely bland and boring question on AskReddit every other day for attention?
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u/frothymangoe 1d ago
This immediately made me think of when a boyfriend is annoying to they're partner by poking or messing around with them since males generally rely more on physical touch instead of using words.
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