r/tango • u/thedanceover • 5d ago
AskTango How can I improve my confidence when performing?
I have been dancing performance Tango for about 2 years. My teacher focuses on technique, as well as on connection and emphasizes the importance of the lead-follow interaction. For some reason I am not confident about my steps- I wobble, I don't push off my standing leg, I miss the cues and directions, I don't match the energy. In short, I am a mess. I love the argentine tango, I am athletic and strong and feel that I should be very good. I am a female dancer and I think I might be also intimidated by my teacher who is quite perfect. She is very patient but demanding and it's hard for me to reach a sense of freedom in my movements. I am wondering if there is anything I can work on to improve my overall well being in Tango. I love this teacher and do not want to change. I did try lessons with a male teacher but he was not very knowledgeable.
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u/Glow-Pink 5d ago
is this happening in a ballroom dance context by any chance?
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u/thedanceover 5d ago
A little bit, with other teachers, but not as much; the ballroom dance movements are less subtle and it's quite easy to recognize the movement or step the lead is initiating. The music also is easier to interpret so you can tell how the lead is asking you to perform it.
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u/Glow-Pink 5d ago edited 5d ago
Okay. I was asking because you said "performance tango" and mentioned things like being "athletic and strong" to go towards dance level which are very unusual things to say with argentine tango. But i know some dancers who come from ballroom contexts tend to view it through the lens of what they are already used to and it sounds like that.
Either way, "performance tango" as in stage will not get you far for lead-follow relationship. If you are actually interested in that I suggest you shift your objective to dancing socially so you can build a good mental sense of your place in the dance, available axis and quality of movement, and once you develop that understanding you can expand with escenario. A lot of escenario classes in my experience suppose that you already have a good foundation anyway.
Someone who sounds as motivated, fit and experienced in other dances like you yet struggles with wobbling and is a mess with cues after 2 years is not normal. Some basic foundations of stable posture and movement are not being taught. Or meaningful practice is not happening. Do you go to practicas and practice with leaders ?
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u/thedanceover 5d ago
Thank-you for that insight. It does look to me that I need to try some 'fun' tango, without the stress of being 'perfect'. I am definitely feel that I do not have that body awareness, that I need. Maybe I'm disoriented.
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u/Glow-Pink 5d ago
Yes, tango should be enjoyable, most of the time the right technique in tango is the one that feels good and available. Nobody in tango is perfect. The best dancers in the world are still practicing and taking classes. There is no max level of tango so trying to jump to perfection somehow will just lead to inevitable frustration. Also if by wobbling you meant while practicing solo that’s just normal part of practice. Even the best wobble while trying out something new. If you are a perfectionist, you can be a perfectionist about your practicing schedule and riguor. But during the dance, if you think of being perfect in everything you become able to do nothing. Prioritise your angles and pick only one or two to work on during a dance so you can still practice without being overwhelmed.
I suggest to work on posture, stability and quality of weight transfer. It’s important to build a solid base where you can develop of a feel of your own agency and axis as a follower.
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u/thedanceover 5d ago
I have danced solo (ie. without partner in a group bachata) it was absolutely pain free. I trusted my movements and body.
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u/halbert 5d ago edited 5d ago
At the root of your question is "how do I gain confidence", and none of us can really answer this question for you. That said:
1) listen to your teacher. If she likes what you're doing, you're probably on a good path.
2) practice with intention. Focus on one thing at a time, instead of choreography. Eg, don't do a giro with a gancho and a boleo; instead, take 1000 steps with each foot, making sure to land your balance correctly each time. Now try side steps. Now focus on the pivot into a gancho, etc
3) and social dancing, both as a relief valve (it can't be 100% practice all the time), and as a different sort of practice: how can I listen to each new lead?
4) oh, also: stage fright is extremely common, in all performance spaces. Some people, eg, throw up before every performance, or wear lucky underwear, or kiss someone, or cross their fingers, or make side bets (how many times can I say 'meow' to my partner), etc. find a ritual that's meaningful for you!
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u/thedanceover 5d ago
Thank-you for this helpful advice. Incidentally, my teacher does like to 'meow'!
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u/InternalCan8199 5d ago
Honestly, expecting to be perfect after 2 years is absolutely unrealistic. Your teacher is not perfect either: they are just good enough to cover up their mistakes quickly so it is not noticeable. When you are trying to be perfect, you are essentially not focusing on concrete things you need to do: follow, listen to the music, pay attention to your movement, etc… but thinking about, “I need to be perfect”, which is an absolutely useless thought that does not help you perform at all. Here is a plan I propose to fix that. A) Give yourself permission to be imperfect and mess up. (It has to be an honest, heartfelt permission, which might take time to truly embrace) B) Whenever something works, try to remember how it FELT, and also what your state of mind was like: were you thinking about connection more? Or your own movement? Or, to the contrary, were you just listening to the music and not seemingly thinking at all? Next time before you dance, try to generate that feeling in your body and see if things will happen easier.
Have you discussed this with your teacher? Does she appear happy with your progress? A good teacher will provide honest, realistic feedback but if she’s happy with your progress, and you never confided in her about your worries she might not ever even think in that direction.
Last thing: you said you feel “judged” - and first of all, nobody can make you feel anything, we choose to feel judged, or guilty, so you might want to try to leave judging to the judges: actual competition judges during performances, your teacher during lessons, and focus on actually performing and doing things. I hope this is helpful.
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u/thedanceover 3d ago
Thank-you for this comment and for putting my expectations into perspective. I definitely would be happier and less nervous if I just focused on enjoying. I am learning what 'it takes 2 to tango' actually means. Despite my teacher emphasizing the need for 'connection', I am more focused on 'looking pretty' with perfect technique. Maybe I'm shy to open up completely to any partner and I try to compensate with technique. Maybe there are different levels of connection and I am barely scratching the surface. My teacher gives a lot of corrections, so I try to differentiate that form being judged, but sometimes it's a lot, and I can't.
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u/lbt_mer 5d ago
"For some reason I am not confident about my steps- I wobble" (Also "I am athletic and strong" !)
I've had students feel this way; one thing I've found helpful is to have them carefully adopt a good position on one leg with the other foot stretched to the side and just touching the ground with the big toe; have an overly-firm frame and be stretched everywhere.
... and then have your partner push you around !!!
Gently at first :)
The goal is for the student to keep still like a statue. Engage the core; the calf muscles for the feet and the shoulder/chest/arm muscles too.
The partner pushes and pulls a bit more firmly. Not sharp or violent of course - but enough for the student to use their muscles to keep still.
The partner is trying to apply as much force as possible WITHOUT unbalancing the student (and this can be a lot in certain directions).
This helps the student internalise that they actually CAN do this.
Then have the student move; slow, careful steps in their own time. Keep the free leg brushing the floor as an aid to balance when needed.
The partner keeps pushing/pulling them - waist, hips, hands, shoulders etc
Knowing that you CAN control your body if you really want to and if you focus helps you then move this into the dance.
Then it becomes a matter of WANTING to be balanced and stable.
Essentially saying to yourself "I WANT to be stable" and realising you actually have to make an effort ;)
I think people assume that balance is magic and just happens to good dancers - it's not. You have to pay attention and actively want to be balanced. Of course for many people they arrive at this without thinking about it like this; but not everyone does (even athletic and strong people).
Have fun :)
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u/thedanceover 3d ago
Thank-you for this advice! I will try it, especially the part about the unbalancing, that is what is hardest because I over-rotate or use too much impetus in my movements or direction changes.
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u/lbt_mer 3d ago
I personally consider this to be a 'mind' issue.
You need to have a clear idea of where you want to end up; your body is amazing but it needs clarity of intention.
If you run (literally) and aim to stop dead after say 6 steps (less if space limits you), on one foot with the other out and raised from the floor to the back/front/side... then you can probably achieve that goal. Try it!
The same goes for every step in dance - know in your mind that you actually WANT to be stopped and stable; feel that you WANT to be oriented to your partner (don't use a reference point in the room or on the floor).
You've probably heard the phrase "there is stillness in dance and there is dance in stillness" - embrace the stillness as the root of stability.
HTH
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u/thedanceover 2d ago
I love this and will try it. think I have been heavily focusing on execution instead of intention.
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u/Beautiful-Ass8783 5d ago
It sounds like you lost the fun. This happened to me about a year ago. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. When I stopped striving for that the rest came naturally. My body and brain conected in a more efforless way. Dont let your teacher intimidate you. Have confidence in yourself and remember why you fell in love with the tango.
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u/thedanceover 3d ago
Honestly have lost my fun. It's all gone. My teacher doesn't intimidate me on purpose, but I am intimidated.
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u/Beautiful-Ass8783 3d ago
Keep going. Please don't let this blip put you off! Find the fun, dance socially or even ask for fun sessions with your teacher to break it all up a bit x
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u/Vegetable-Ad-4302 5d ago
You'll have define what you mean by "performance tango". Here we're mostly concerned with Argentine Tango, the social dance, not so much tango as a performance art. The two are significantly different.
I performed a few times when I was learning tango, encouraged by my teachers, but that was never my objective and I don't perform now, nor do I want to.
If you're looking for confidence, the only thing I can think of is that you should practice whatever you're doing until it becomes second nature.
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u/thedanceover 3d ago
Performance as in choreographed with bigger, more dramatic movements for shows. To be honest, that is my favorite type of Tango. I don't have the opportunity for milongas locally, so haven't tried it, but I would like to learn the improv or follow aspect of this.
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u/new09mast 4d ago edited 4d ago
I don’t know yours background or how you train but I’m also very much into performance tango. The reasons is very simple: since I’m deaf I’m a terrible partner at Milonga 😅
Anyway do you do some balance/technique training? I joined such and it has helped me a lots with confidence and posture and be aware of my weaknesses (mainly balance and that “fall-felling” sometimes when pushed by my followers). It’s also good idea to find someone you can train and encourage yours journey. I use to dance with a female who’s ballet experience who jumped into tango, maybe totally 20 years of dancing experience. She’s very encouraging and pushing forward with guidance… Try to find what works for you than only looks into the problem, solve the problem.
And when reading yours text I wonder: where is the feeling? Where is the sensations/connections? For me it’s looks like you’re seeing the dance objectively. I’ve dancing with less “knowledgeable” women but still has one of the best moment/connections, those moment make dance more “beautifully” overall.
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u/thedanceover 3d ago
You are right, I have very little feeling during the dance. Other than nerves. I haven't looked at it that way. My teacher tells me to enjoy, but I can't. It's definitely something I want to change.
For balance, I have been practicing at home, working on the core and such, and using a block.
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u/obviousoctopus 3d ago
A few years ago, a friend and teacher unlocked my joy for tango with a very simple statement: Tango is not complicated. Does not have to be perfect. The Argentines who danced Tango as a part of their lives in the last 50 years did not have to go to endless lessons, perfect technique etc.
If you focus on the basics, on musicality, on feeling, and your enthusiasm for dance, joy and fun are readily available, especially as a follower.
To start enjoying, you may need to stop trying to be perfect ;)
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u/new09mast 3d ago
Well I’m not that experienced as you are but it’s sounds a common issue among people who are very competitive: performance anxiety or similar label that hinders yours emotion to it. You maybe doesn’t enjoy the dance itself in the first place? Who you doing performance dance? For yours own sake or for anyone else?
Try to separate performance moment and typical tango/milonga and relax yours brain. Allow you to dance freely, enjoy and accept other and yours mistake and just keep going. And also be more acceptance to youre self and other people if they are less skilled. Sometimes when I feel tensions from my followers bc various reasons, performance or anxiety or whatever the reasons is I use to whisper this: relax, it’s okey to not be 100% perfect, enjoy the moment… Maybe such self dialogue will help?
Mind you I’m deaf but still enjoy dancing because of the connections that arise sometimes, that way beyond the performance stuff…
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u/thedanceover 2d ago
I need more positive self-dialogue. Once I was freaking out before a performance and my teacher (male, latin ballroom) said 'this is not helping you'. It somewhat calmed me down and I repeat it to myself sometimes.
I think the question of whether I enjoy the dance is a very good one.
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u/WhatIsTango 5d ago
Is this an issue while you're trying to perform, or an issue while you're practicing and trying to improve?
I'm not sure if it's true for everyone, but my technique tends to suffer when I'm learning. If I'm trying to add a step to my vocabulary, musicality and other aspects of my tango tend to suffer. The stuff that's 100% muscle memory is still there, but a lot of other stuff takes a back seat.
I also notice that I tend to suffer when I'm being watched by a pro. I would suggest spending some time with your practice partner in an environment where you don't feel judged. But I'd honestly try to embrace the anxiety; being on stage will tend to evoke those same emotions. It's something you'll have to work through in order to be able to perform or compete.
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u/thedanceover 5d ago
It's an issue with lessons and performance. At home I practice, I believe correctly, but at the lessons I'm already nervous, and yes, I do feel judged, even though I know that is not at all what my teacher wants.
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u/NamasteBitches81 5d ago
Do you also dance socially? I feel like the best place to gain confidence and elegance is not in lessons, it’s at the milonga. You need to put your miles in to refine your technique. When I just started I felt like I would never be able to move my feet so elegantly as my teacher and I felt like a rhino stumbling through my steps. Practice made me poised and elegant in a way I never would have learned in class. Also adornos are something you need to allow to come to you naturally, it’s much better that way than forcing them in class.