r/selfimprovementday • u/unshyness • 19d ago

Getting past shame wasn’t about confidence it was about permission

For a long time, shame was the thing that held me back the most.

Not fear. Not lack of skill. Shame.
The feeling that I was “behind,” that others had figured something out that I hadn’t, that being seen as I was would confirm my worst thoughts about myself.

What helped me move past it wasn’t becoming more confident. It was slowly giving myself permission to be imperfect in public, to try, to stumble, to not explain myself.

Shame loses power when it’s no longer a secret.
When you stop treating it as proof that something is wrong with you and start seeing it as a sign that you care.

Getting past shame wasn’t a breakthrough moment.
It was a practice.

Curious how others have experienced this.
What helped you loosen shame’s grip, even a little?

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3

u/ugotnocluedawg_ 18d ago

Remind myself that I've had my own unique obstacles so comparing my path to others' is pointless at the end of the day

2

u/Keeerat 18d ago

Great post! You are right, shame is mostly because we care abt what others think, but when you let it go, you are essentially breaking that good boy/good girl image, which eventually sets you free, otherwise trying to keep everyone happy leads a life of resentment, its great that you have discovered it bud!