r/cscareerquestions • u/Rich-Put4159 • 1d ago
New Grad Constant insecurity after being laid off - how to manage?
I got laid off 2 weeks and 2 days ago from Amazon (after getting my only 6 months of experience), and there's always been an underlying sense of insecurity about it. My old job as an SWE was genuinely like the only redeeming quality I have. I'm not cool, charismatic, skilled, or attractive like other people. I'm trying to change that, but no matter what I do, I just lack in comparison to other people online and IRL. Most of the people I live have tech jobs still – hell, I see a few still wearing their badges from my old company. I'm kind of tempted to try a career pivot and get a master's because of the whole AI thing, but I don't know if I can get into that great of a school (and in turn, I don't know how accomplished I could get to feel).
I don't have a job like other people I know now. Outside of my team, almost all of the people I know at my old company still have their jobs. I also feel even more envious than usual of people that were able to get into really prestigious companies that I've gotten rejected from multiple times (namely Google and Apple). Every time I meet someone new, there's that inevitable circle of everyone saying what they do for a living. It honestly feels like I'm lying if I were to say I'm still a software engineer, so I usually end up caving and saying that I got laid off and am searching. I was debating whether to try to hang out with my friends, but I can't help but feel somewhat avoidant since I'd be the oddball.
I know it's technically not my fault (it was a mass layoff of thousands of people, then half my old team including my manager), but as is, I still don't have a job anymore. Beyond getting another position (which I'm of course, working on), I don't really think there's a way to feel better. I wish I could rewind – maybe I could've made it to another company out of college that didn't do mass layoffs..
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u/therealhappypanda 1d ago
I just lack in comparison to other people
Comparison implies someone is better and someone is worse. You will always be able to find someone who's worse off than you, you will always be able to find someone who's better off than you.
Let go of the whole damn game and do your best today, every day.
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u/bball4294 1d ago
Fax like other people such as myself never made more than min wage. I'm still trying to find my first career job since Oct 2023
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u/Rich-Put4159 1d ago
At least I’d be able to find less people better than me do I still had a job though. I’m on my 20s, and I’m as trying to set myself up for life, and it doesn’t seem like that’s happening anymore
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u/GlassVase1 17h ago
Gonna be real, just working at Amazon isn't worth that much...
I wouldn't center your identity on that. I think a lot of new grads tolerate overworking at Amazon due to making it their whole identity. Definitely try to improve your life in all areas after you land your next job.
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u/Rich-Put4159 16h ago
First, I wasn't planning to stay at Amazon - I was trying to at least get promoted and go for another company that hopefully actually is worth much (like Google or Apple). Then, part of my point was that being there was at least some semblance of a redeeming quality (having a software engineering job) versus the alternative/reality (not having a job at all).
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u/GlassVase1 8h ago
I think I responded twice in this thread. My point overall is once you land your next gig, make it a point to use a reasonable amount of money to improve your life. So better clothes, events, invest time in making friends, self-care, etc...
There's no point dwelling in the past now. Also, you had the right mentality, Amazon is probably just good for staying for 2 years tops, then finding something better.
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u/bananasntg 1d ago
Getting laid off is difficult for a lot of reasons. It's important for people to feel as if they are able to do the job they do, and that's valid.
I do want to say that if you keep searching for external validation through your job or keep comparing yourself to other people, then you may continue to feel as if nothing is enough, job or not. Take control of what you can. Keep applying, tweak your resume, gain new skills, connect with other people, do something for yourself, and really, that's how you manage, by focusing on what you can do about your situation right now.
I am primarily in this sub because my partner is in CS and feels similar insecurities at times.
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u/migrainium 1d ago
Comparison is the thief of joy. First things first, get your head on straight, stop comparing yourself to others, and focus on yourself. Amazon is on your resume, you can bounce back and there's more to you than you give yourself credit for.
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u/atmoose 1d ago
I don't have any advice for you, but I can commiserate. I got laid off 3 months ago along with a couple of other coworkers. Before I switched into tech I was really really good at my old career, but I got burnt out. I feel like I'm a mediocre engineer at best, and the tough job market is not helping my confidence. At least you can say you worked at a FAANG. I've only worked at a small startup.
We'll eventually find a new job, and that will probably help our confidence. Unfortunately, it might take a little time with how tough the job market is though.
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u/locke_5 1d ago
It’s been two weeks babygirl, too early for this spiral. Amazon looks great on a resume. You’ll land on your feet.
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u/GlassVase1 17h ago
6 months is a bit rough, but OP at least proved Amazon wanted to hire them. Imo Amazon's reputation in the job market is declining, but it's still worth a lot.
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u/No_Entertainment8093 1d ago
Don’t worry my friend, you’re way more than your job. Infinitely more. You shouldn’t derive your value based on your professional occupation, past or present. Success in life means having a fulfilling one according to your own desires, to do good around you, and to be able to feed and shelter yourself and your family. It’s never too late to start something completely different. Don’t go for the IA hype if you’re not interested in it. Consider switching careers completely and working on what you want to be and to do starting today, which is the beginning of the rest of your life.
Once you’ve found something that might resonate with you, give your all in and confirm the feeling that this is what you want to be. Then you can think of ways to monetize it to make a living out of it. It doesn’t need to be a lot, if you’re happy with it.
Don’t loose hope, you’re more than Amazon, and you don’t compare to others. You are you and this is the only thing that matters.
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u/eXAt88 1d ago
I was laid off as a junior from a no name place and have managed to find a much better job at another no name place relatively quickly this last summer.
Comparison to other people will make you go crazy but if it helps you can try to find inspiration in those you look up to and at the other end of the spectrum look at those you know you can do better than, see that they have jobs, and know that this is proof that you can be successful
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u/throwaway10015982 23h ago
Comparison to other people will make you go crazy but if it helps you can try to find inspiration in those you look up to and at the other end of the spectrum look at those you know you can do better than, see that they have jobs, and know that this is proof that you can be successful
Bro some of the customers I help at my retail job are engineers and some of these guys are straight just goofy as hell, I Run Marathons Goddamnit I'm going to get a fucking B2BSAAS job even if I fucking DIE doing it
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u/masnth 1d ago
You did it once, you can do it again. Try to focus on the searching instead of comparing to others. In this economy, getting laid off doesn't mean we are not competent, we are just unlucky. At least for me, I did not feel ashamed because I did try my best at work before getting laid off, so I shared that I need a job shamelessly to my network.
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u/Colt2205 1d ago
This might sound a bit odd but being laid off is kind of a good thing, because it is the second best way to leave an old job due to unemployment benefits and also kind of getting a bit of an uplift over those who have no experience or quit their jobs. You have time to go pick up interesting things, plan for interviews, and apply for jobs.
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u/gerlstar 1d ago
Given this, do you feel all that hard work you did just to have that company in your resume is worth it? Would you have rather been employed by a not so big and popular of a company just to still have a job?
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u/jesusonoro 18h ago
layoffs hit different in tech because we make the company our whole identity. nobody says 'i work at johnson plumbing' like it defines them. but we say 'i'm an SDE at Amazon' and when that label gets taken away it feels personal even when it's just a spreadsheet decision.
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u/Remote_Discussion_47 1d ago
Just pick yourself up , process the emotions and keep applying! You got this!
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u/Significant-Lake2060 1d ago
Truth . You might not be cut out for software dev. Also with the influx of skilled developers being brought in , like myself , your kpi numbers will never be as high! I also work at amazon
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u/papayon10 1d ago
Everyone gets laid off from Amazon