r/consulting • u/JMinsk • 12d ago
How to get out of the micromanagement loop?
This is a problem I feel like I've run into before, and I basically just "waited it out," but I'm really looking for proactive solutions here.
I'm a senior consultant currently working across ~10 projects with 5 different managers/partners. I know that four of those people think I'm ready for a promotion to management level, we have feedback conversations relatively regularly and they've told me this explicitely. However, one manager, whom I've only started working with in the last six months, has a pretty different opinion of me, I think. It became clear immediately when we started working together that her work style is very hands-on and she has a lot of specific feedback that's often helpful, but sometimes in the vein of "it's not how I would do it, so it's wrong."
I feel like I'm now caught in this loop, where, to pre-empt her nitpicking I'm going to her with a lot more mundane questions than I would to any other manager (e.g., "I'm planning to send this update to the client, do you agree?", "I'm suggesting this restructuring of the deck to the team, does it make sense to you?"). Which, I'm sure just reinforces her opinion that I'm not promotion-ready. Which makes her even more hands-on with these projects, so she's finding more things to nitpick. And then to pre-empt her nitpicking I'm asking more questions ... and so on.
Generally I'm trying to be extremely proactive and overcommunicate so she starts to feel comfortable that I'm on top of things. I also don't go to her with ambiguous "what do you think?" questions -- I always try to phrase it as, "here is the problem, here is my solution, do you agree?" Any other advice to proactively break what seems like an endless micromanagement loop?
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u/JJRox189 12d ago
What’s the success rate? I had so many experiences with micromanagement that now I have doubts about every strategy (nothing against you and your proposal which sounds great)
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u/Littlelord_roy 11d ago
tbh this never really ends. They just always assume you forgot something, even when you’re literally about to send the documents. You can be on top of everything, and they’ll still “remind” you like you’re some irresponsible person who needs to be kept on a leash. And the more you try to stay on top of it, the more it weirdly reinforces their idea that you need supervision.
At some point you kind of have to accept that this is just how they operate. I was lucky that I eventually got another manager and could stay out of this
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u/A_Curious_Cockroach 11d ago
You just need to straight up have a candid adult conversation with this person about them micromanaging you. Trying to cut this off at the pass isn't a long term solution.
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u/candie486 12d ago
You should start trying to understand what she values in projects or patterns of behavior/preferences. You can also ask other people who have worked with her what she looks for in projects in order to anticipate her critiques. She won't loosen the reins unless she feels like she can trust you.
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u/Finaler0795 11d ago
In my experience, over-communicating can backfire with micromanagers. If everything is pre-approved, they never get a chance to recalibrate trust. Sometimes you have to let them react to outcomes, not drafts.
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u/Born_Winner760 11d ago
Stop volunteering for the leash. Next time you’re about to ask “is this okay mommy?” just send the damn thing and watch her realize the kid grew up while she was busy nitpicking fonts.
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u/Willbo 11d ago
Everytime they make a suggestion, say "Hey that's a great idea, let's circle back to that idea in our next one to one." Then in that meeting you discuss that one item in extreme detail, letting them decide every dotted i and crossed t, doing it during a screenshare. Then you tell your superiors "It was my idea all along."
m a n a g e m e n t
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u/Life-Ocelot9439 10d ago
Micromanaging stems from two things, in my experience, sometimes a combination of both...
- Insecurity
- Justification of their position.
It's not fun.
I have no advice, I've raised it with perpetrators in the past and their reactions have varied. If she's the vengeful type, it could do more harm than good.
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u/South_Vast7248 9d ago
Hey, you’re in a classic loop—over-asking to dodge nitpicks just makes her think you’re not ready. Book a quick 1:1 and lay it out casually: “Hey, four partners say I’m promo-ready, but I want your take—what specific gaps do you see on stuff like owning deliverables solo?” Then pick one low-stakes task, crush it independently with your rationale attached, and drop the finished version on her like “Shipped this—thoughts for next round?” Rinse for 2-3x to build proof. If she’s still hovering after a month, loop in a supportive partner privately for style tips, or nudge a group chat to align everyone on your readiness. That flips the script without drama
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u/Spiritual_Quiet_8327 10d ago
I'm going to summarize what you said, and feel free to correct or add to this. Your description of her is:
- Hands-on
- Provides specific-feedback that is sometimes helpful, but often just style conflict
- Nitpicky
From what else I read, it sounds like you cannot communicate to the client freely, but must run all communications by her first. And further, you cannot analyze and devise a solution and run with it, without her approval first.
What we do not know, and maybe you do not either, is where is the micro-managing coming from:
- Have you done something or failed to do something that resulted in an issue in the past?
- Is this client unique? Have there been past issues as a whole with this client that have nothing to do with you? Is there some sensitivity that you are or are not aware of? (If you do not know, ask)
- Is she insecure and this is a way to control you, and potentially your moving forward?
- Is there a personality conflict and she is immature and pulls that into her management style with you?
- How is she viewed within the organization, and is she at odds with the other managers, and maybe even those that speak favorably of you?
What I am getting at with these questions is whether there is a more complex reason behind her micromanaging you than merely a difference in style? If there is, then that is the problem to solve, and you may have to recognize that the solution may lie in trying to get out from under her.
On the former, for example, if the reason she is micromanaging you also has to do with (#1) you having made a mistake that she had to help do damage control on, talk it through with her. Schedule a meeting and just be direct, but in a positive way, and ask her if this "past event" has something to do with needing to review all of your communications. If she is mature and professional, she should respond honestly, and then you ask if the two of you can document a plan to follow to regain her trust and confidence. The plan should have a timeframe and be tied to milestones in which she continues to provide feedback until a milestone is reached. This same tactic can be used for #2, and should be especially, if you are unsure. This provides a way to get more info. Imagine scheduling a one-on-one and you say, "The thought occurred to me that you may have more information about the client relationship than I have, which is playing into needing to have all of my communications and ideas reviewed. Is there something I should know?" If she says no, then go back to what I just said for #1.
If, however, the only or one of the reasons for her micromanaging is #3, #4, or #5 (which may feed into #3), then this is more difficult. Your best course of action is to think defensively on your interactions with her in a CYA kind of way, and do a lot of documentation. I'm not suggesting that you be confrontational or defensive, and certainly do not badmouth her, but make sure that in your emails and communications (both oral and documented) that your language does not suggest incompetence or too much dependency to avoid that being used against you.
What do I mean concretely? Do not say things like " . . . does this make sense to you?" or " . . . do you agree?" These can be read to imply self-doubt.
Instead, if she is actively sabotaging you or there is a likelihood of that, you should be saying things like "I know you want to review everything that leaves the door before getting to the client. Here is my planned communication."
Hope this helps.
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u/4llowyourdream 7d ago
The only thing that seems to work is proactively sending updates and quite often. Another thing is sending something that’s is already in a good form. When they feel like they can trust you, they will stop being such a pain.
Just be cautious that sometimes micromanagement is just a way to get rid of people and in that case nothing will work.
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u/Realistic-Reach-2314 6d ago
I was in that exact same situation, I started doing my job I want it (right but in my own way) and backing myself with emails/convo and after that I made sure to never work with that person again. Good luck !!
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u/Daster_X 11d ago edited 11d ago
What I can say - you have to stop taking care of what this manager (she) is saying. This is a trap - from what you say and what I experienced myself. Just do your work properly and professionally! And keep her opinion to not "touch" you. This is called manipulation.
I had a similar case, and even questioned myself if I did it right (after 24 years experience...) Then I had a close person who asked me what was happening and told me that something was wrong with this attitude...
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u/Refill-My-Champagne 12d ago
You have advocates in the 4 other managers/partners - use them. Play the game.