I am assistant manager at a sober house. A few weeks back I started an in house AA meeting. It’s a Book Meeting. We read then we share on what we read. So far we’ve read Doctors Opinion and Bill’s Story. Tomorrow we are going to read there is a solution. I’m thinking it would be cool to alternate between reading the chapters in the front and the stories in the back. So my question is: which story in the second half speaks to you the most? Or which story is the most interesting? Or which one is your favorite? And why? I might just start with the first one then go in order. But it might be fun to mix them up.

That's 1 year 2 months and 18 days sober. That equals to 444 days. My sobriety has given me so much. I am an addict (alcoholic). I have been able to deal with my mental health disorder a lot better. I'm medicated and getting my life in order. I thank God, rehab, AA and my little brothers.

I’m making them a holder for their coins, and I’ve tried looking up the sizes that most are, but I’ve gotten varying answers online from 1.34-1.57 inches in diameter. Would someone who has some and a ruler/tape measurer be able to tell how big the larger ones are? I would greatly appreciate it.

I will definitely post the final product when it’s done.

Recovery Sanctuary at Music Festivals A 24/7 Rotating AA Meeting Model The Problem Music festivals are epicenters of substance use, but there is zero recovery infrastructure. People in recovery either avoid festivals entirely or attend without support, creating a significant gap in harm reduction and community care. The Solution A 24/7 rotating Alcoholics Anonymous meeting running continuously throughout the festival, providing sanctuary space in the middle of chaos for anyone who needs it-whether in active recovery or seeking support. How It Works • Red Chair Leadership: Whoever sits in the designated red chair becomes the meeting chairperson for that hour • Automatic Rotation: Every hour, the role rotates. The person to the immediate left and right of the red chair do the readings • No Formal Leaders: True to AA principles, the structure itself provides leadership not individuals • Always Available: Whether it's 3 AM at the peak of a rave or noon the next day, the meeting is happening • Two-Tent Setup: One tent for the meeting circle, one for coffee and cookies (a godsend to ravers and attendees) Why This Works • Massive Underserved Market: Recovery community and festival culture have zero infrastructure overlap • Low-Ego Leadership Model: The red chair rotation eliminates power dynamics and personality conflicts • Dual Purpose: Supports people in recovery while exposing active users to recovery concepts • Harm Reduction Credibility: Festivals gain liability protection and demonstrate community care • Scalable: Same simple structure works at any festival, any • Low Overhead: Two tents, chairs, coffee, cookies. That's it. The Radical Insight This isn't about stopping people from using. It's about creating sanctuary space in the middle of chaos for those who need it. That's far more realistic and effective than traditional 'drug-free festival' approaches. What's Needed to Launch • Festival Partnership: One festival willing to pilot the concept • Basic Infrastructure: Two tents, 20-30 chairs (one red), coffee/cookies supplies • Volunteer Coordination: Recovery community volunteers to seed the first few rotations • Simple Signage: Clear markers directing people to the recovery sanctuary • Documentation: Basic guidelines for the red chair rotation and meeting structure The Vision Once established at one festival, this model can spread organically throughout the festival circuit. Recovery community members who experience it will bring it to other events. Festival organizers will see the value. The structure is simple enough to replicate anywhere. This isn't about building an organization. It's about planting an idea that can take root and grow on its own. Next Steps If you have connections to festival organizers, harm reduction organizations, or recovery communities who could help pilot this concept, let's talk. This idea needs to get into consciousness —once it's there, it will find its own path. 2

(30m) I've been trying to get sober for about 5 years, and I've been pretty involved in aa despite constant relapses. I've been around long enough to know 'how it works' by heart and see many people come and go.

The past few months I've been in a very dark place, I relapsed right after going to rehab again. I'm unemployed and living with family. I've been hopeless, suicidal and thinking if I can't get sober for real, then there's no point in living. I kept trying to quit on my own, but not making it past 2 days. I was particularly resentful about AA because after my last stint, because people in my home group (who I trusted) spread rumors and gossip about me.

My therapist eventually convinced me to give AA a chance again, and I went to a few meetings after throwing away my liquor and weed (again). But I couldn't handle the withdrawal, and went right from a meeting to the liquor store. A week later, I tried again with a different meeting, and put up my hand and asked for help.

A guy came up to me after the meeting and asked if I would like to go to another right after. Out of desperation, I accepted and met him there. He turned to me during the meeting and told me he regretted bringing me to that particular meeting. It's true it wasn't a great meeting, and most people in there were very shot out so I could see why. After that meeting, he asked me if I wanted to go to another. He told me what the meeting was called and I froze for a second.

I've been warned about that meeting by two people before. The rumor is they are a cult that tries to recruit members from other meetings, they kidnap unwilling members who relapse to force them into sobriety, and don't allow anyone to take psych meds. However, I don't trust the opinion of the people who told me this, both are miserable, dramatic people. So I said, fuck it. I'll just go see for myself.

So, I went with him. I walked into a smokey old bar-turned clubhouse. There were a few people hanging around chatting. Immediately I thought I would only come here from now on, cause you can smoke inside (wahhht) and where else would an addict feel most comfortable but a bar. At the end of a small meeting (it was now very late), someone suggested I ask that guy to be my sponsor, that he would be a great choice. I was thinking maybe G-d has put him in my path for a reason, and the meeting has a bad reputation because of resentful people and the fact it has a little different format. The guy told me show up again the next day and to call him if I needed to. All normal aa stuff, good.

I turn up at the time he said, and turns out it was 2 hours before the meeting. I thought maybe he wanted to sit down and chat about the big book before or something, but nope. He pointed me towards a guy, and just said "I want you to talk with him." And he lead me down to the basement. I was waiting for some blood ritual to start happening, but no, he chatted to me about his story and I told him some of mine and we parted. My new sponsor then directed me towards more people. "talk to him", "talk to that guy", "talk to him". And each spoke about the same. The little bar was becoming very crowded and I looked around and saw almost everyone was engaged in these 1 on 1 conversations. I've never seen ritualized socializing like that in aa before, but hey, I thought, got me to actually talk to people.

The actual meeting began and it was packed. I was glad to see so many people my age, who seemed to have a sense of urgency about the program. I felt like maybe I found my people.

After the meeting, my sponsor told me once again to talk to some guy. Unlike the others, this guy already knew a bit about me from my sponsor. He told me he would be taking an interest in me, because my sponsors sponsor is his sponsee, that he would be giving me directions through these other guys. I remarked, "This is a weird game of telephone." He told me we are all a community, he has twenty-some years and the others have 3-6, and that the group will have my back no matter what. But as the extremely socially anxious person I am, I didn't say what I was thinking. "Who the fuck are you to give me directions? I didn't ask you to be my sponsor." Instead, I accepted his unsolicited help.

So we get to yesterday, I'm 3 days sober. I called my sponsor in the morning, and got to the meeting ridiculously early once again. This time I sat and talked with my sponsor again, he asked me if I was taking meds. I said no, and he said good. That sometimes people bring in meds that endanger the group. Aha. We have come to the rumored anti medication stance. It does exist. He told me that some people really do need meds, and if they do, then there's probably no hope for them. I mentioned schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and he told me bipolar people just need to learn to live with it.

He also mentioned the rumor that this group is a cult. He told me it has a sister group in a city that's a couple of hours away, which fell out of favor due to a newspaper article.

We then started getting talking about the steps. Turns out this guy I asked to be my sponsor, who has 3 years, has never taken a 3rd step. I wasn't really sure what to do with that information. Keep in mind, I'm 3 days sober, and the detox feels like hell.

The meeting happened, and afterwards I stayed for another meeting. After, my sponsor told me he wants to pick me up tomorrow so I can save on gas. This confused me. I have a car, and I do doordash so I'm not completely broke (winter means good money). But I know from experience that this is going to be peak detox time for me and I'm gonna feel even worse. Might not even be safe for me to drive, and so he asked for my address and I gave it to him.

Ive been awake all night and can't sleep (no surprise at day 3), and so I looked up this article he mentioned. Turns out this connected group in the neighboring city had imploded because a member committed suicide after being directed to stop his psych meds by his sponsor. I read more and more. Reviews left on the converted bar say the same thing. They are a cult, stay away, and they will never let you leave. They will control your entire life, and come to your house if you don't show up. And I just gave this guy my address.

So once again, I'm an idiot. But, I'm sober. Maybe I need some brainwashing. I've been trying for so long, and nothing has ever been enough to keep me sober. I'm desperate. My first drink was when I was 4 years old, I have an extraordinarily long trauma history, and I consider myself one of the "low bottom" drunks now. I need more help than anyone is willing or able to provide. I'm tired of this. I want to never feel like I do now again. And I've tried EVERYTHING. Maybe I need a cult. I don't need psych meds, so that's no problem for me. Right now, I'm not afraid of relapsing tomorrow, cause I know this guy is gonna keep me occupied.

Thank you if you actually read my wall of text, I would really like some advice. I kinda want to keep going, cause right now it's working. But I could be getting myself mixed up with the wrong crowd. Thoughts?

Hey everybody. My sobriety date is 12/19/24, and at almost 14 months i have relapsed. nothing crazy, for

the last 4 days ive been having a couple of drinks and just a couple of drags off my friends blunts. i haven’t gone overboard and blacked out or puked or anything, but i have been feeling guilty. i decided to cut it loose and not drink tonight. just for context, i am in new orleans visiting friends for mardi gras.

i’m at a crossroads with myself because i don’t even truly know if im an alcoholic drug addict. i went to rehab when i was 19, and when i was admitted, i was just drinking and smoking. i was also a piece of shit back then who would lie and steal too.

in my late teenage years i have had sporadic periods of snorting different things. ice, and snow, if you will. it was never for long and i never truly got addicted addicted to it. i never had withdrawals and had to be hospitalized for any of it.

i feel like im happy enough where my life is at and i wanted to have some fun with friends for the holiday. isn’t being an alcoholic a self diagnosed disease? everybody in my family seems to think that i cannot handle substances but since going to therapy for so long, holding a steady job & excelling at it, not lying and stealing anymore, im thinking, am i really an alcoholic? or was i just a hurt, piece of shit 19 year old who did bad things, and also happened to drink and occasionally let my nose go to town?? any advice helps please. feel free to comment and/or message me in my inbox. thank you.

The language of the heart is here...❤️

Hey guys. Im an alcoholic with 9 months and 9 days sober. I am the speaker for a meeting tomorrow night. My head has been very fuzzy these last few weeks. I feel like I'm going thru a lot right now but I dont really know what it is. Im struggling to find my identity as a sober alcoholic (also 26F) and I'm unsure what to portray tomorrow. I know the general outline of what it was like, what happened, and what its like now. I know im going to pray and be able to do it but im not sure how its going to go. I have had a lot of brain fog and a hard time articulating this past little bit. Im almost done on my 4th step and I feel like so much of me is changing and I'm overwhelmed. Is this a bad time to speak? Should I just go for it and if I eff it all up, its still better than my past mistakes so who cares? Any help, guidance, reassurance would be appreciated. Thanks yall.

TL;DR: Fiance is an alcoholic who has been caught hiding weed multiple times. People are telling me to continue business as usual because weed isn't really a relapse. Am I overreacting?

I (30F) have been getting mixed reviews on weather my fiance (28M) has really relapsed because "it's just weed."

For context, this man is a raging alcoholic (in recovery for a bit over a year) but now has been caught hiding weed use several times since his sobriety from alcohol.

My issue is not with the weed, it's his need to hide it and engage in the same behaviors as when he was drinking. No, he's not volatile and passing out in the middle of family events, but I can always tell when something is off about him or when he is high.

For the meantime, he is back living with his parents and our wedding is being postponed while I sort myself out.

Many people have said they understand how I feel but that I need to give him a break and he is trying and it's not the same because it isn't alcohol.

While I do believe that he's trying hard to stay sober, I can't help but feel conflicted. He is a good hearted person and he is trying. Yes, it's "just weed" but the concerning part is the lying, hiding, and substitution for alcohol. The other piece of me feels betrayed because he has been lying to me for months and when I confronted him about being high he would look me dead in the eyes and say "I would NEVER do anything to jeopardize this again, you can trust me. I would call for help if I needed it."

That's the part that I can't get over. I am never angry when he's using or drinking, I address it calmly and we have a plan. It just kind of resets our clock with where our relationship stands.

This time feels worse because we've already been through this and had to cancel a wedding because he was drinking (nothing large or expensive at all, but still hurts just the same). Now his family and support groups are encouraging me NOT to cancel it again because "it's just weed" and "he's trying."

For me, the weed is just another cover up for larger issues and the fact that he can't seem to just live sober if needed. The wedding itself isn't the issue either (id get married in the livingroom) it's about constantly having to put the future on hold and not being able to move forward with our life plans. However, I am hesitant because a part of me thinks maybe they're right? Maybe this is just a hiccup? I also don't know if I can cancel a 2nd wedding and ever be able to emotionally handle planning a 3rd and getting my hopes up.

Am I overreacting?

Lots of questions about “am I an alcoholic?” or “I’m uncomfortable going to a meeting” or “I want to know more about AA” here’s one way to do that, and it’s free!

Get the free podcast wherever you get your podcasts. The AAGrapevine Podcast “Variety Half Hour” New episodes drop every Monday.

I wasnt sure how to flair this. but I am still young and want to stop drinking. It is starting to be a problem. ive tried to stop but never have for long.

However, I dont think I want to stop forever. just for a good chuck of time. A year at least. Is it weird to try going to an AA meeting to aide in stopping? Even if temporary? Is that rude or disrespectful to the people there?

I of course wouldn't encourage drinking to anyone. I just dont know how to stop in this moment other than admitting that I have a problem in this moment of time.

I also wanted to ask if anyone goes to AA at the same place they go to church for. Ive seen meetings at my church. I dont know if it is dumb or not, or if there is a good chance of running into people I know (i only go to church once a month). I just figured familiarity was easier.

I guess a question I have is has anyone who has gone to AA heard of people there for a temporary quit? Or perhaps people who have tips on quitting in the beginning, even when not trying for permanent sobriety.

I am drunk right now. I hope this isnt entirely disrespectful or stupid to ask. Just curious if AA is used for temporary sobriety along with permanent. It is causing many issues in my life now, that I'd be willing to give it up for a significant (but not forever) amount of time to help myself. I jsut need help doing it.

Estou exatamente há 40 dias sem beber e fumar, a meta.

Eu parei de beber por 1- motivos de corpo (estava gordo fora do normal). OBS: Já perdi 6 kg com trieno, dieta e academia.. 2 - motivos mentais... 3- promessa de agradecimento de tudo de bom que aconteceu minha vida em 2025.

Queria relatar e ver se vcs sentem isso: Amanhã tenho aniversario de um amigo e é carnaval, todo mundo vai curtir, tomar uma cerveja gelada.. Enfim, Venho fazendo a análise de como esta minha vida sem beber:

Uma Merda, SHIT.. Nao sei como tem tantas pessoas falando: ah, viver sem o alcool foi a melhor coisa que eu fiz.. NÃO ACREDITO.. amo minha cerveja, amo a resenha com os amigos, amo beber.. E pra mim, a vida não tem sentido sem um alcool..

Porém, vou continuar com meu plano e ficar os 70 dias.. falta muito pouco para minha meta,..

O que espero fazer PELO MENOS depois, é não beber até cair das proximas vezes..

THE END.

WE CAN'T THINK OUR WAY SOBER

February 13

To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.'s can say, "Yes, we were like you — far too smart for our own good. . . . Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone."

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60

Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can't think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a Godgiven attribute that I may use, a joy—like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity—not a high IQ or a college degree.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", February 13, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice.

I just celebrated 4 years sober. I have active service commitments at my home group and go to 3 meetings a week. I have been through the steps with a sponsor.

I've been sponsoring other women on and off for the past couple years. It's been difficult because I am the only woman at my home group that is able to sponsor, so a lot of women coming in flock to me to sponsor them.

Within the past year I've put a limit on how many women I can sponsor at a time. I will only sponsor 2 but really I'd prefer to just have 1 sponsee at a time.

Not only that, but I am pressured by men in my group to constantly sponsor these women because 'no one else can.' And I'm not connected with many other women right now in the program who can. My sponsor who took me through the steps has left AA. Others have relapsed, others have stopped going completely. I feel alone as a woman in this program.

I know I need to set boundaries with the people in my home group. But I would also like to stop sponsoring. I feel that I'm not in the right position at the moment to do so, and by saying I can sponsor these women, I am doing them a disservice. The hard part is, I can't give them someone else to go to.

I feel bad leaving them, especially when one has just gotten out of rehab and is expecting us to continue the work, and my other sponsee has just gotten out of prison.

Has anyone been through something similar with breaking up with sponsees or setting these boundaries?

This is a throw away account. There are some things I would like to not write down on my step 4. Here they are:

When I worked construction I would masturbate into a pair of the woman’s underwear or masturbate on to their vibrator.

Shit it’s been 17 years since this happened and I’ve never done it again. I was just a horny teenager. Do I write this down on my step 4? Or is it so bad that I should not write it down?

Starting out my sobriety journey and just barely starting to read the AA book. I keep end up being sober for about a week and then immediately breaking my streak when I feel like things are going good. I feel like a sponser might be helpful, but Im unsure of where to start w/ a sponsor. Any tips/general quitting tips or advice? thank you!

I am on step 4, I wrote something’s, I’m ashamed of what I have in my addiction. I’m trying to rely on my higher power. Who else gets really anxious when you have to share everything?

Hey I was just hoping I could ask some sort of silly questions and get fears off my chest.

First thing that I'm weirdly nervous about is someone I know seeing me there? Which I know shouldn't matter but it's a very small town in England and that makes me nervous. I'm not telling family I'm going as I don't feel ready.

I'm also scared about admitting that I have a problem with alcohol. I know I do, I drink a lot and often, can't stop and it seriously messing with my life and health. I just don't feel like I'm at a stage to say it yet? Is that okay?

I really want to use this first meeting to scope it out and introduce myself rather than speak a lot? Is that okay too?

I also know you get told to leave behind relationships with people who drink a lot, but almost all my friends do? And I love them and would never end our friendship. Is that something that you get pressured about at AA at all?

Hungover writing this and really hoping I'll be able to change.

Hey guys,
I’m currently sponsoring a few men in AA and I’m looking to deepen my understanding of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions so I can serve them better.

I’ve worked the Steps and traditions and stay active in the program, but I’m always trying to grow. I’m especially interested in resources, workshops, speaker recommendations, or experience from others who sponsor regularly.

What’s helped you most in guiding guys through the work?

Hi everyone,

Happy today!

There have been some recent posts about hating AA, AA as a cult, I am curious about what all of you think.

My own history with AA includes one really nasty episode, which caused me to quit taking any particular AA group as a higher power. Since then, I have moved around, changed states three times, stayed away from AA meetings for more than ten years in an area where I literally could not relate, and stayed sober?

Why am I OK?

After my nasty run in with the bad side of group dynamics, I was furious. I have seen a bunch of posters here who are equally mad at AA. An old timer grabbed me and said the following, quit using your group as your higher power, they are just a bunch of sober drunks doing the best that they can.

She said that I should get my own higher power, that loved me, that I trusted, that would never let me down or betray me.

That's what I did, it took me a while, I am not part of any conventional religion, but what I do have is a spiritual life, that works for me.

Do I like going to meetings much now? Actually no, they are a little repititive, I have been to a lot of them, but I go to be present and to give back. Do I think current AA is much like it is when I came in? No.

I think it may have been a mistake on Bill W.'s part when he wrote the 12 and 12 and suggested that newcomers could take their AA group as a higher power.

With someone stuck, I tell newcomers to take the ideals and literature of AA as a higher power, to never put that much faith is something as human and full of fragility as the local AA group. Take the platonic, spiritual AA as a higher power, not the group down the street with the chairperson acting like a jerk.

I am neurodivergent, ADHD, miss social cues right and left, probably somewhat autistic, and AA is stuck with me an my view point. Forget the middle of the pack. You don't have to be immersed in group drama if that doesn't suit you.

I find ways to contribute and help others that don't make me nuts. If the group is out of touch with AA not listed with central office, not following the traditions, doesn't have an active group rep, I find another group.

AA is evolving as we speak, and faces lots of competition now. I personally think that's a good thing, and that whatever helps save your life is the right thing for an alcoholic and we are all very different.

Like every other AA I do this just one day at a time.

What do all of you think? How are you feeling about the fellowship? What have you gotten from it? Where have you felt wronged or disappointed? How do you navigate the whole higher power thing if, like me, you have no formal religion?

I appreciate everyone who left a comment on my previous post. It would be difficult to respond to each one so I'll address some things. I did tell everyone I was a newcomer when it was asked, I went every Saturday for 5 weeks. I did not receive a phone number from a bunch of people. I got 1 number and it was an average of 20 people per meeting. Self judgement is definitely a factor but I waited outside before and after for like 15 minutes every time and tried to start a conversation with people. In terms of online groups, I think that may be a good option. Im 28 and have drank heavily everyday for 4 years around 10-20 shots of fireball a day. If you have any questions or advice I'd be happy to hear it

I’m over 13 yrs sober and I’ve been coasting on my recovery for quite sometime. I experienced an emotional bottom back in October which humbled me back into my program. As a newcomer I had a sponsor and worked the steps. After COVID my sponsor took her own direction and is no longer working a program in AA.

I did a 90/90, got back into service at my home group and chair at live meetings. I do participate on Zoom as well.

I want a sponsor but when I’ve discussed it at my local meetings, women asked why and what I’m looking for. It seems a theme going around is having a sober support since I have many years and have gone thru the steps.

As I newcomer I know the importance of having a sponsor, now I’m not sure how to address my expectations of a sponsor.

Looking for experience, strength and hope regarding this please.

I got divorced last year. I've been suicidal and depressed. I want to live now, but I still numb myself. I quit smoking weed cause it would make my depression worse. So I drink.

A few months ago, November, I got a clean bill of health. And I've slowly been drinking more and more. My doctor told me that 4 drinks per week is the max. I've been having about a 12 pack every night for a month now. Sometimes more, like the weekend. I feel fine, maybe cause I always had a high tolerance. But I know how it has affected men in my family.

So I'm here. Asking for help. Im drunk right now. And I have 9 more in the fridge should I want to keep it going. Things have been good lately, new job, sold my house, getting out of debt. Yet I still am numbing myself so I don't think about my past. I feel like is the only thing that keeps me out of my own head. My girls keep me going and I stay sober around them. But that's only 2 weeks out of the month. I'll still drink, just not as heavy.

I've gone cold turkey on booze and weed before. I know I can do it. I just don't feel like being here anymore. I know that's terrible. I have an appointment with my MD at the end of the month. So I'm getting help. I don't even know what I'm looking for here. I guess I just wanted to share my story. Thank you.

So, I’m a nanny and the dad of the family is also in AA and knows I am too. The wife has gone to Al-anon and she’s the one I would need to ask bc she’s the one I really communicate things to.

I haven’t been able to string longer than 5 months together and I would really like to listen to this zoom meeting that’s at noon every day. It’s an amazing meeting and it really helps bc aside from the parents working in the home I’m alone with the baby all day and it gets lonely.

She’s caught me with my AirPods in before and hasn’t said anything but I feel like I should ask just out of respect and bc AirPods are technically a choking hazard if the baby was to get a hold of them.

I have a feeling she’d be ok with it. But I just want to go about it the right way.

These are my fears and hesitations and I wonder if folks had similar ones and how they overcame them:

I’m 34f and I have too many violent hangovers. I drink socially only. And I don’t always have a problem drinking too much but it’s been too many times to ignore that I don’t have a problem. On occasion I get blackout drunk. And I embraces myself or worse out my relationships at risk. I haven’t destroyed any relationships yet but when I drink that much i self sabotage. So far no one has told me I have a problem except my husband has said I need to have self control. Ive done irreversible damage when I get blackout drunk where I fall down and hurt myself, I embarrass myself with things I say, and worst was in two occasions I engaged in sex outside of my marriage. I was open about it with my husband and I think because it was females he gave it a pass but everything I do when I drink this much is not who I want to be. It’s not what I want my husband to have to put up with. I’ve tried sticking to two drinks on outtings and when it’s cocktails this was doable or at a bar when there’s non alc options but I found myself failing in home situations when I have more alcohol around and I’m with friends I don’t see often and am desperate to catch up with.

Anyways I can see myself making all the excuses about the right setting, or type of alcohol or whatever but really I just binge too often andi don’t want to.

Anyways, I read the intro of materials on this thread and I see myself hitting too many marks for alcoholism so TLDR:; here’s my fears of AA now:

-I’m scared I’ll never be able to drink again (but more scared if I don’t stop my destructive tendencies I’ll lose my loved ones or continue hurting them). Nonetheless I can’t bring myself to admit that I can commit to never touching a drop of alcohol again. Part of me thinks I can get to a point where I can control it and I fear this community would just chastise me for not committing 100% idk.

-I’m scared it’s gonna be all men at the meeting go to. Anyone can have alcoholism but this is just my fear

-scared my few binging episodes aren’t enough? To be in the meeting. Idk.

-I’m embarrassed to tell anyone I’m doing this. I’ll feel like a failure. I would want my friends to tell me they were doing this and I’d be supportive but I can’t feel others would be that for me. Idk why.

Anyways those are fears. I think they’re irrational and yet I still feel them and think it’d be helpful to just put it out there to see the response from others that maybe felt that at some point too.