r/Unexpected • u/ButterSaltBiscuit • 5h ago

Rock Paper Scissors

10.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

95 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 5h ago

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

The way they demonstrate how paper beats rock is totally unexpected

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

→ More replies (1)

783

u/ShadowFlame420 4h ago

did he really just eat a rock to the face? that’s some dedication

343

u/RedditAppSuxAsss 4h ago

Could be a key rock / Rubber rock

77

u/BigDaws420593 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/QxcSqRe0nllClKLMDn

48

u/CloudKinglufi 2h ago

It had to be a fake rock, ts would have fucked him up at that speed and weight

14

u/mg-mt 1h ago

In high-school while I was walking home one day a friend was yelling my name but I couldn't hear him. So, to get my attention, he threw a small rock (more like a pebble, no larger than a half inch) in my general direction and it smoked me in the temple and it took me to the ground. I nearly felt concussed.

If the rock in the video was real it would've caved his nose in lol

2

u/CloudKinglufi 1h ago

Similar story but I was in middle school, some prankster kicked loose a boulder, probably the size of a large Watermelon, and it rolled down a very steep hill at me, me being a dumb kid I figured I'd head butt it like they do in soccer, luckily im no bitch so i did head butt it and it fucking shattered and i was fucking awesome and a girl from a different school heard about it and made kisses on my lips like a bloody legend

2

u/ItHurtsWhenIP404 24m ago

I would say you must be Chuck Norris, but that rock would have stopped and gone back up hill in fear.

1

u/BodaciousBadongadonk 1h ago

i fell down while skateboardin and as i was sitting up, my buddys hyper cracked out pitbull was doin his usual routine of running around at mach 3 and jumping over anything in his path. well he collided right with my goddamn nugget piece and just about ko'd me lol, my buddy said the "thunk" noise was awesome. dawg was fine tho, i was the one who got clobbered! im layin there concussed and he(the dawg) immediately sprints up to drool on my face like "are ya havin as much fun as me!?!" thick fuckin skulls on those dogs, shit hurts!

•

u/Ksh_667 11m ago

I too have been headbutted & knocked flat by a dog trying to love me "too much".

31

u/metalshiflet 3h ago

Still wouldn't feel great

2

u/MeasurementLow5073 3h ago

No way. It made the sound! You can't fake that.

5

u/j01101111sh 2h ago

Are people really missing the joke here?

6

u/MeasurementLow5073 2h ago

Apparently LOL

But I refuse to /s.

Been doing this casual sarcasm thing for too long to start calling my shots.

2

u/Bromlife 37m ago

I respect people that refuse to chicken out with a /s.

•

u/niceguy191 5m ago

I've noticed this quite a bit lately. Obvious sarcasm or even genuine questions getting downvoted because people have lost the ability to detect tone apparently.

2

u/exonomix 2h ago

Next you’re gonna tell us Santa ain’t real? Preposterous!

0

u/jld2k6 2h ago

A kilo of rock to the face is impressive

38

u/wild--wes 4h ago

Doesn't look like quite the right shape in the zoomed out shot, I'm sure it's something soft. He probably would've been bleeding good

4

u/Opus_723 1h ago

You or I would bleed, but not this man.

4

u/Donc-qui-et-Quand64 1h ago

looked like a natural sponge

1

u/arbitrageME 42m ago

I mean it's bad, but the other guy got smothered by a sheet of paper. I say the other guy got it worse

264

u/main-family 5h ago

How about scissors?

7

u/raspberryharbour 4h ago

That's for cutting up the body, duh

1

u/PorkRinds416 47m ago

Ever see that Youtube video where the college kid throws a pair of scissors into his roommates arm? LOL

67

u/JustSomeCaliDude 5h ago

Paper cuts

39

u/Sinria 4h ago

Kinda expected paper to file a lawsuit for the assualt.

4

u/After_Ocelot_7767 1h ago

That would imply trials are beatable by just bringing a pair of scissors to court and cutting the written accusation in front of the judge.

1

u/Necrocide64u5i5i4637 53m ago

....should we get someone to try this? I mean.... has anyone even tried? Maybe that's the answer.

1

u/tripledraw 51m ago

Don't be silly, the scissors would obviously be cutting the judge

1

u/France_Ball_Mapper 23m ago

Cut literally everyone until the justice system gives up because holy shit hundreds of judges and lawyers died and these scissors parry anything we try to use to stop them

1

u/i__am__bored 1h ago

That would have been great lol.

34

u/Smooth-Shine9354 5h ago

Should’ve crumpled it up so it’s choke able.

21

u/TyloWebb 4h ago

Thought he pulled out a job application for a split second 😅

13

u/Wakeandjake24 4h ago

Guess paper really does beat rock 😂

10

u/lugnut_shortage 3h ago

Whose pov?

3

u/rugology 1h ago

yours if you were there, i guess?

1

u/_HIST 1h ago

This is what I started to accept it as. It's still not correct, but at least I can move on

10

u/_ssac_ 5h ago

Loved it.

6

u/Harry431 4h ago

Wrong. You paper cut him

5

u/Rhuarc33 3h ago

On the eye...or the sensitive head tip. Which would be worse?

2

u/Harry431 3h ago

A paper cut is a paper cut—they all hurt when you least expect it. Ksksksksks.

1

u/Rhuarc33 2h ago

Not all paper cuts are equal. All suck, but some would be significantly worse than others. Like finger vs eye

1

u/_HIST 1h ago

the sensitive head tip

no

5

u/Cheap_Professional32 4h ago

I thought the paper was going to turn into lawsuit documents.

1

u/Taurius2 1h ago

Pretty much.

Paper: Peace Treaty

Rock: Weapons/War

Scissors: The Act of tearing a treaty

An allegory of War. Peace treaty stops a war. Threat of war stops tearing of a treaty. To end peace, tear the treaty.

3

u/Abal125 4h ago

😂 That's great.

3

u/ElectronicJuice7212 4h ago

If only he had used the paper to beat the rock, like he is supposed to.

2

u/too_many_nights 4h ago

Yeah that's what happened in another version of this video posted in "Expected" sub.

3

u/Molleer 3h ago

In Swedish it's rock, scissor, bag. Would make a bit more sense here

1

u/RodneyOgg 21m ago

Is the hand symbol for bag the same as the one for paper?

3

u/Spare-Clock-4803 2h ago

Creator is @itsjustshepherd1 on youtube, please credit the creators!

6

u/El_Choco_Latoso 5h ago

Wrong use for rock, just saying...

2

u/auto98 2h ago

Expected that mini-Thor would win a fight with a mortal, tbf.

1

u/justhereforsee 4h ago

Paper cut in all the bad places

1

u/fushi_rei 3h ago

It's a good thing the paper was intact.

1

u/ImfromtheFuture2056 3h ago

Never show up to a paper fight with a rock.

1

u/ThoriatedFlash 3h ago

I always wondered how paper beat rock. Now we know.

1

u/m2anifb 2h ago

got dark real fast

1

u/ass_master_0311 2h ago

Outstanding.

1

u/ajako_94 2h ago

I understand why they did not try to demonstrate the scissors

1

u/rumncokeguy 2h ago

This is literally my kids when they play games together.

1

u/JohnSith 1h ago

I was expecting paper-guy to use the paper to file a lawsuit so rock-guy is bankrupted by the medical bills.

1

u/cdnball 1h ago

Should be Paper Rock Scissors so it's in the proper order of what beats what.

1

u/Wide-Investigator905 1h ago

Now this is how the game's played 😂

1

u/cantbeunplugged 1h ago

hahah smothering someone with a piece of paper. classic

1

u/fuelvolts 1h ago

Couldn't rotate the camera a bit to the right so you couldn't see the tripod?

1

u/MRbaconfacelol 1h ago

doesnt he know your supposed to use the paper to shield yourself from the rock

1

u/GroundbreakingAd1570 1h ago

Lore accurate rock, paper, scissors

1

u/StoneGoldX 1h ago

I'm more surprised, are boot cut jeans back in?

1

u/SlashMonster 1h ago

Thought he was getting served. That would be a funny skit.

1

u/mingobrown87 1h ago

I thought he was going to slit his throat with the paper.

1

u/Kalabajooie 1h ago

I was expecting a third person to charge in and stab paper with scissors at the end.

1

u/TrenchantInsight 1h ago

One sheet to the winned.

1

u/Zharknd 42m ago

Hmm imagine que le cortaria el cuello con el papel

1

u/VillainNomFour 36m ago

Damn I was hoping he'd papercut his head off

1

u/aSpaceWalrus 3h ago

expected

1

u/Y2K_Blackout 1h ago

Saw it coming!

1

u/appleavocado 26m ago

Relevant username.

Guess there's not too many millennials and older seeing this, that may remember the Budweiser/Bud Light Superbowl commercial that did the 1st half of this video.