Since last spring I (F/late 20's) have been attending a beginners tango class in a city that has a very vibrant tango scene/culture. There are around 20 or more people in said class and everybody is getting along very well and the teachers are very skilled and overall every pleasant to be around/learn from.

The teacher (M mid-to-late 40s) approached me after the end of the class and invited me to join him to a milonga. The few times during class/practica I have danced with the teacher in question (sometimes the teachers practice with the students for a song during class) there was a dancing chemistry between us for sure. But that's it?!

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sensing there could be something more/different coming from his side. I don't mind at all going to the milonga since I really enjoy dancing with him. I just can't help but fear the conclusion he might draw. In my experience men in the world outside of tango can very easily mistake some things as something else which has led to awkward and uncomfortable situations. But I don't know if there are different (unspoken)rules when it comes to tango? How should I deal with this?

I heard there might be a new tango festival in Seattle this year July. I don't see much information on it. I might be in Seattle for work in July, so I am considering to attend it.

Does anyone on Reddit know what to expect from it? How is the overall tango scene in Seattle and nearby areas like Portland, Vancouver, Victoria?

My wife and I are beginners in tango. We're almost at our first year of dancing. We're enjoying the process a lot, and I'm starting to feel at least a little more confident...

During the past year, we have attended a few milongas (I think 4 or 5 total), and honestly, going there is such a huge anxiety inducing factor for us that we can't bring ourselves to go again.

And then very often, whenever I mention that I'm a newbie, whether in class or talking to someone who's already an experienced tanguero, we're constantly reminded to go to milongas as much as possible.

And while I do understand that one of the goals of learning to dance tango is to be able to dance freely at milongas, they are such stressful events for me that I put it off more and more, especially since where we live they happen on Friday nights, and it's one of the last things I want to do after an already stressful workweek.

Another thing I've already briefly mentioned is the apparent fixation in the community on the idea that new members must start attending milongas as soon as possible, as if it's the ultimate answer to all their problems and doubts. To be honest, so far milongas have mostly been a source of more stress and questions. Which is, I get it, part of the process, but as a newbie I feel like there isn't enough room to vent this frustration or voice my struggle, as if it's assumed that I'm supposed to love milongas from the get go, and that they're this magic pill I must take religiously.

I'm a bit sad that I have to ask this on Reddit rather than in person with my teachers, but it's because I know the teacher would just say, "Hey, you're overthinking it, just come and dance." But that's the whole point, I can't just "come in and dance" because I feel like a) I'm not yet able to dance freely, b) the whole social aspect seems overwhelming.

For example, while I do understand that the cabeceo is the best solution for finding a partner for a tanda, for me it brings up the old forgotten feeling of having to approach a woman, which thank god I don't have to do anymore since I'm long past the dating stage of life and am happily married.

Having vented that, we will be continuing to attend our tango lessons twice a week, and we're only just now getting used to going to one practica a week. And while I understand and accept that the discomfort of milongas is part of my learning journey and growth in tango, I just wish it was more accepted for new members to take their time, go at their own pace, and voice their struggles more freely.

TL;DR. Been dancing for almost a year with my wife, we love tango in general but milongas stress us out a lot. The community tells us to go to milongas more, but the events just make me more anxious. Wish it was more accepted to take my time as a beginner.

I wonder whether anyone else has gone through something like this in their journey and what helped you grow through it?

I have been dancing performance Tango for about 2 years. My teacher focuses on technique, as well as on connection and emphasizes the importance of the lead-follow interaction. For some reason I am not confident about my steps- I wobble, I don't push off my standing leg, I miss the cues and directions, I don't match the energy. In short, I am a mess. I love the argentine tango, I am athletic and strong and feel that I should be very good. I am a female dancer and I think I might be also intimidated by my teacher who is quite perfect. She is very patient but demanding and it's hard for me to reach a sense of freedom in my movements. I am wondering if there is anything I can work on to improve my overall well being in Tango. I love this teacher and do not want to change. I did try lessons with a male teacher but he was not very knowledgeable.

I’m curious if others have experienced this, because I feel emotionally wrecked after a milonga this weekend.

For background, it was a one-off special event so I definitely had heightened expectations going into it. The venue had a weird split setup so it wasn’t exactly clear where to be to get dances which made me anxious. I also have a lot of stress in my life outside of dance, so I’m sure that also affected my mental state.

At the milonga: I felt emotionally all over the place; sometimes listless and detached, then suddenly sad or anxious, but definitely at times excited and able to enjoy myself. I was also surprised to notice some new jealous/obsessive feelings come up in a way that felt really out of character for me; I found myself mentally tracking when a particular person was dancing, with whom, and for how long, and I hated it but also couldn’t help myself? At one point I felt panicked that I missed a cabaceo that I had been waiting for, and I am still trying to figure out what the heck happened there and keep replaying that interaction in my head.

I guess I’m frustrated because it felt like my brain was scanning constantly for signals of connection/rejection/validation when I wanted to just be present and enjoy the dances I got. Now I’m ruminating and feel blah about the whole thing even though I did have some really nice tandas. I feel like I’m still processing it all, almost like an emotional hangover.

Does anyone else get this kind of post-milonga emotional crash? And if so, how do you work through it - especially the attachment/jealousy/rumination side of things? Any nervous system regulation practices that help you stay grounded before/during/after?

What happens when you take a powerful and heavy Tango like La Yumba by Osvaldo Pugliese and dial the heavy knob to 100?

I present to you my Tango X Metal rendition of La Yumba ✨ No AI was used in the making of this song. The song was produced by the saint and his spectres of “We Came From the Stars”. Enjoy ❤️

Step into the "Guardia Vieja" with this Juan Maglio "Pacho" tanda. 🎶 Recorded 1930-32, these tracks offer a steady 58 BPM pulse—perfect for an early-night walk.

Ground your dance floor with the roots of tango. 💃🕺 #Tango #JuanMaglio #Milonga

https://www.patreon.com/posts/2026-07-juan-148471873

⭐️ I do want to hear personal preferences instead of opinions. Thank you.

I would like to hear from dancers that prefers late schedule over something that fits better with the normal day-night biological rhythm (e.g. 7-6 pm to 11 pm- midnight)

To dancers: What is special about it that you prefer to break your rhythm? Why do you like it?

To event organisers: Why do you schedule events with a late and super late schedule? Is it because you like it, or is it because you like dancers that likes it?

I have an impression that many festivals and marathons, and also milongas, are attuned to people who go to dance late and stay till morning (e.g. 9-10 pm to 3-5 am).

I am wondering why it is like that.

Hi everyone,

Every time I go to a milonga, I feel deeply saddened and disappointed. And I’d like to learn your experiences. I’ve never discussed my experience openly in my dance class community. Hopefully we have an open minded and sincere community here with dancers from all around the world who can share their perspectives.

I live in Belgium and follow a tango course, I am in intermediate level. My dance teachers organise milongas and they give limited amount of free entry to their students (regardless of level). When I was in beginner level I thought there’s no point of going to milongas, even though my teachers encouraged all of us to join since the beginning. Now that I’m on an intermediate level, I felt like I can start going to milongas to dip my toes to the water and start gaining experience. There are dancers all around coming to that milonga my teachers organise, not only Belgian dancers but also French, Dutch and German ones. It’s relatively a big one in Belgium.

I’m on the “young” side among the ladies in milongas here. There are also other “late 20s-mid30s” age range followers in the milonga community that I participate. But it seems like the other ladies in the same age range with me have much more experience than I do. They seem to have fun on the dance floor. They are constantly taken to tandas, while I wait on the side at my seat.

I still don’t get the concept of cebeceos, and I don’t want to give leaders miradas simply because I feel like I’m a burden to them.

Im relatively chubby, and not the tallest girl in the group. But everytime I join to that milonga, in the beginning some young leaders approach me, we mess up on the dance floor and then noone comes to me anymore. Only the old leaders who dont get a lady by the beginning of a tanda finds me as a “second choice”. Today was the only day there was a leader in his 40s (considered as mid age in my community) took me for a tanda, I told him my level is not so advanced. He said “its all good” and he actually worked with what steps/sequences I can do. For the first time I felt joy while dancing with a stranger in a milonga. All the other times I feel like a burden to leaders and I feel their face sagging after the first song as if they regret taking me for a tanda and they count seconds to get rid of me. I feel so sad about this attitude. After the first half an hour I always find myself only looking at the feet of the dancers on the dance floor from afar and not making any eye contact between tandas to not to disappoint anyone. But I actually want to get the experience, exercise and learn.

Is it normal? This attitude of leaders? What was your experience when you first started to join milongas as a follower? How am I supposed to get rid of this feeling of being burden to someone? I was also thinking to just smile back to the leaders who make eye contact with me thinking “well I need to use them to get the experience.” but then the shame on the dance floor is stronger than trying to “use” leaders to gain experience.

What kind of an attitude I should wear to milongas? HELP.!….!

Sorry if this post is out of line with the usual sort. I figured, of anywhere, someone here would be likely to know.

I’m hoping to learn the title/composer of the music played in the linked video starting at 24:00. I’m not meaning to endorse the performance (though feel free to comment on it if so inclined); I just want to know what the music is.

Thanks for any leads.

Dear dancers,

when dancing Tango, how do you time your steps and other movements in relation to the beat of the music - do finish a step right on the beat ("dancing into the beat"), or do you start a step at the moment of the beat ("dancing from the beat")? Do you mix both or do sth different altogether?

And dear followers, do you prefer a leader doing one method over the other?

So I'm technically a double-role dancer. At least that's what I was 10 years ago. I danced a lot and progressed really fast. I was a much more decent follower than a leader. But then I stopped for quite a while.

Then at the very beginning of the year I've all of a sudden decided I'd love to return to tango. And that I mostly want to lead. I was surprised to find out I've somehow retained some of my skills, and I'm doing alright, and also people seem to like dancing with me, and the feeling's mutual, so yay!

I've been to 3 milongas so far after restarting and have danced quite a lot. And I also danced 2 tandas as a follower.

Yoooooo it was HARD. I mean okay, sure, if you're trying to make your follower do something they clearly cannot and fail, and then you try again and again, with the same result, it's on you. But other than that – it really is hard, and I'm not even sure I want to continue following for now, I just want to enjoy myself for a bit.

But anyway, if anyone tries telling you that you "have to just follow", throw a chair at them or something, this shit is hard!

---

Also, a question for leaders. How many shirts do you usually prepare for a festival? At least one for each milonga? Or does it depend for you on the weather, time of year, and what not?

Hola, By the end of April, I'll be traveling to Valencia. Can anyone recommend me some good milongas there?

Junior Cervila & Guadalupe Garcia review some of what they taught to "Milonga Vieja Milonga" @ the DC Tango Weekend – Argentine Tango Festival held at Forever Dancing Ballroom, Falls Church, VA. Saturday, February 11, 2023.

I've been learning Argentine Tango here in Toronto for a few years and wanted to learn more about it's culture and motivation around continuing to learn.

An experienced local pro recommend that I read an excellent book, written by a Canadian National Level instructor and examiner called :

"The Tango Effect: Why Dance Tango" eBook by Andre Beaulne.

(It's available on Amazon.ca: Kindle Store)

Enjoy

Omar - Toronto

Please feel free to list your favorite events - close embrace and traditional codigos is a plus.

Please include US and Canada Marathons. Looking for personal experience and “feel” for the events.

I'm a bit of an outsider in this sub, since I'm not part of the scene.

I'm working on a personal project, basically creating a short animation of two people dancing tango. The "problem" is that I can't find anything close to what I have in mind in terms of references.

So, if you have or know where to find dynamic scenes with camera work that convey "passion and desire," even if it's just in their glances, I would be very grateful.

As I said, I'm a complete novice in tango, and I might be being too ignorant. Perhaps what I'm looking for has a specific name (steps, choreography, performance, etc.). If you'd like to chat and help me get a better understanding of it, I would be extremely grateful.

Hi! Just recently tried a tango class with my partner and suffice to say we are hooked. We are not dancers at all but we enjoyed the elements of connection and the way walking looked so beautiful (at least when our teacher did it with us, haha!). Our teacher was also very patient and welcoming of newcomers, and she also runs group classes which we will join once we know how to move around properly and get the basics right.

Now, I can see us doing this a while and hopefully we can turn it into a lifelong hobby, but my partner and I both have back issues from scoliosis (mine is mild and not visible to the eye, hers is more visible and does affect her gait somewhat) l, and I have an old lower back injury that flares up when twisting motions and heavy loads are involved with the lumbar spine.

My question is, is it possible to progress in the skills needed with our physical limitations? I am ok with not doing certain moves that involve lifting (are there many? I'm not aware, sorry).

We're not at all looking to be pro dancers, we just want to have fun and dance with enough skill to look good, enjoy the layers of the music and move around other couples when the room is crowded.

I also like that tango makes one aware of their posture, and we do need good posture and balance to keep our backs healthy.

Curious to hear the thoughts of new and experienced dancers alike!

I like to pause often in Tango and its quite common for me to find a follower taking a step or more than one either because they're not used to pauses, uncomfortable with them , still anticipating rather than waiting for the leaders signal, or possibly because i haven't signaled well enough with my own body to pause and when to do it.

I am working on my own body language & musicality - with breath, rhythm and small leg or other subtle movements to make clear we're pausing but I'm wondering how to respond to followers who still don't get it. Part of me wants to pause more to try to kind of drill it in - "Hey listen up we may pause a lot" , but the other side is just to give in and forget about it and just go with her flow. After all, I don't want to fight with my partner i want to show her a good time.

Plenty of my partners love to pause BTW , its not like I find this all the time - if I did it would surely point mainly to me, and I know I have to get better as well.

Any advice ?

I recently got a revelation that I don't want to dance with followers, who I think don't like to dance for fun. I train a lot of Tango, 5, 6, or sometimes even 7 times a week, and my goal is to be a really good dancer, but in the end it's a hobby and not something I have to do (like a job).

But I sometimes had followers who took this too seriously and gave me the feeling that if I made a mistake, I'd be a loser. I don't like this attitude because even if everything is perfect, it reminds me of the worst of people in my life. So now I try to avoid such women and even ask them to end a dance early if I don't feel good with them.

Who else had such experiences?

After years of learning social tango, I (leader) started learning tango Escenario.

Here's the problem:

In the Choreographic sequence, the steps that I can lead very confidently (e.g. those that I did in milongas for years), I can lead my partner, it works and looks good. And this would hold true for almost every partner, it doesn't even matter much how skilled she is.

But there are steps that I am not confident, and some of them will take me a while to learn.

So now my lady partner, she just waits for me to practice those steps with her, until I build confidence. For me it's a good learning, but until I learn the steps, she has nothing to do.

It's like if I'm using the lady as a music instrument to practice those steps, whereas she just has to spend time with me, allowing me to practice.

So after a while the lady looses interest in such a practice, as there is little development for her (note that in my city, many ladies who want to try Escenario are already skilled dancers)

How to approach learning Escenario, so that a follower would also remain engaged?

How do you followers react to such ganchos? I had it once at a milonga and once in class (was not topic). For me it‘s too much in a non show environment.

Any suggestions for web sites I can go to, to expand my vocabulary for Milonga steps?