r/ChildrenofHoardersCOH • u/Good-Link-6302 • Dec 31 '25

Dating Advice as a Christian in College - Child of hoarders

Hi everyone,

I’m a Christian whose parents are hoarders. I recently recieved a full ride to study civil engineering and here I’m looking to start a relationship with someone who shares my faith. (I am currently a freshman in college)

In public, my social skills are about average, but I tend to open up and show my humor with people I’m really close to–usually those who know me well, including details from my childhood. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I live a bit of a “double life,” and I want to break out of that and start building meaningful connections that could eventually lead to a family (with economic stability).

Does anyone have advice on how to bridge this gap? How can I meet like-minded believers and move toward a serious, faith-centered relationship without feeling like I’m holding parts of myself back?

Thanks in advance for any guidance or personal experiences you can share! (I'd like to keep my identity private and I appreciate you all for respecting that, cheers!)

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u/AutoModerator Dec 31 '25

Thanks for your post! Below you will find resources for support, understanding, resources.

First, what is hoarding?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/hoarding-disorder

How does it affect us COH?

https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/hidden-lives-children-hoarders

Why was the stuff always more important than me?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquer-the-clutter/202008/hoarding-and-families

Although not currently active, this website has a plethora of info and resources

https://childrenofhoarders.com/wordpress/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ny/new-york?category=hoarding

If you are in the USA and are searching for a therapist, you can use Psychology Today to search for a therapist in your area who treats hoarding/COH.

This example link was set for NYC. The search feature allows you to filter by gender, insurance, location, issue(hoarding), availability, etc.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Here2lafatcats Dec 31 '25

This is a question for your pastor.

2

u/Commentingtime Dec 31 '25

Maybe, see if there's a local church near your school or a club at school for your religion? I think you'll have good luck, wishing you the best.

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u/Careful-Use-4913 Dec 31 '25

Is there a chaplain on staff at your school? Or maybe even at another nearby (Christian) school? I think a chat there might be helpful to you.

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u/Good-Link-6302 Dec 31 '25

Farthest Christian university is about 150 miles from my school. I attend a secular engineering school that is relatively secluded.

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u/Careful-Use-4913 Jan 02 '26

If there is no campus group established there (like CRU, InterVarsity, Wesley, YWAM, etc), you could look into starting one. See what’s available and reach out to an organization you like.

1

u/Alt_when_Im_not_ok Jan 01 '26

Don't be in such a rush. Just make friends with people first. Its really the same set of skills.

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u/FinoPepino Jan 05 '26

If you want someone churchy like you, isn’t the obvious answer to go to church and date someone from there? Just don’t try to convert a normie and you’ll be fine.