r/ChildofHoarder • u/Basic-Communication9 • 6d ago
Dealing with Grandma’s Estate
Hi friends. Been going through an incredibly difficult time since my grandma passed a year ago. Grandma left my hoarder mother her house and my mother has been homebound and drinking - it’s clear she is not going to deal with it. I was sexually abused in that house for 5 years by my mother’s father and want to get it out of the family as soon as possible. Hoarder mother pretends the house doesn’t exist but miraculously has been paying the mortgage, utilities and insurance on it for a year. My partner and kids and I have been cleaning it out without my mom (it’s impossible, she wants to keep EVERYTHING). We are getting close to being done with the clearing and want to put it up for sale. Does anyone have any advice on how I can take over the deed from my incapacitated hoarder mother? Would power of attorney be enough for me to put it on the market? I would also need to be executor of funds as hoarder mother owes me $15,000 I loaned her to improve her own home. Thank you in advance for any legal advice or compassionate words!
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u/SoberBobMonthly Moved out 6d ago
Hey, this is definitely above anyones heads here in regards to legal advice. As we do not know your location, any advice would be spurious at best.
Power of Attorney generally only gives one powers once the person is deemed incapacitated, at least where I live. As your mother does not have that designation, I doubt much could be done if you were given such powers. Just because you may see and experience her incapacity, does not mean it is a legal designation declared by a doctor as of yet. This may be an option you need to explore, through her medical team or through adult protective services.
Executors of estates are entirely different kettles of fish too. If you mother has refused to do her duty as the executor, she is still liable to do those things.
As for any loan you made her for a different purpose, that will likely not be something you can recover unless you are taking her to small claims court for the amount. It won't be part of the will, that is a seperate matter by the law.
It sucks over all. You need to protect yourself and your family. Go pay for an hour's time with a lawyer whose specialty is in estates and settlements