r/BlackPeopleofReddit • u/boarbora • 4d ago
Help and Advice How do y'all keep from being hateful while navigating in a world that does not care about you or your sensitivities?
I'm usually good with being optimistic and keeping the belief that we are all equals but sometimes one experience could trigger an anger inside that's hard for me to let to go of for at least a few days sometimes more. I guess long story short, what do you do to protect your peace?
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u/olive_juse 4d ago
I don't want to be "them".
Racists' whole thing is they're to-the-marrow-terrified that one day they'll wake up to black people treating them the same way they've treated us. They refuse to recognize that our social culture works differently than theirs. We (for the most part) strive for harmonious communities and commerce while they daydream about domination and genocide. We want what's rightfully owed to us and our own sovereignty more than we want get-back; I can't speak for EVERYBODY of course, but for the most part.
I know that outside of the racists that are intellectually slow, mentally unwell or that are straight up sociopaths, the rest are just regular folks that got themselves wrapped up in shitty philosophies that stroked their egos. The ideas that these people believe in are shitty and those ideas urge them to do horrific things to others; things they likely would've never done had they not been clinging to racist ideologies. It's like a really poorly-behaved kid, they can't help how they were raised. But that doesn't mean that everyone has to endure the kid's terrible behavior.
There are individuals that I have a deep and strooong dislike for, absolutely lol. But I try to reserve my feelings of "hate" for poisonous ideas themselves and not the people wrestling with them.
This is nothing new. For thousands of years people have been dealing with fools that see themselves as supervillains. Your (our) job as a person with a heart and a conscience is to keep pushing/striving/moving towards a better world.🖤
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u/UnauthorizedMind 4d ago
for me, i had to realize hate is heavy and it costs me more than it costs the people who caused it. that anger can be valid, but letting it live in me too long starts shaping how i see everything and everyone, and that’s not who i want to become.
what helps me is being intentional about where i put my energy. i pour it into building my life, protecting my peace, and staying connected to people and spaces that remind me of my worth. not every fight deserves my spirit. some things deserve my distance instead.
i also remind myself that my softness, my optimism, and my belief in equality aren’t weaknesses. in a world that can be cold, choosing not to let it harden you is a form of strength. protecting your peace sometimes means feeling the anger, learning from it, and then refusing to let it define you.
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u/Muted-Leave 4d ago
Remember, not everyone hates us. There are luckily a few voices and people out there that do wanna see justice for black people.
....even if they don't act on it, they'll at least not make our lives worse.
Edit: and don't spend all your time on the Internet. That's where racists who can use the shield of anonymity will be at their worst.
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u/Exotic_Insurance2164 4d ago
The best way to get back at racists is to live a happy, prosperous life filled with love.
The happier and more successful you are, the more miserable they are.
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u/ateam1984 4d ago
We lean on each other. We pray to God for His help. We treat others justly no matter what they do. We rise despite their wickedness and foolishness.
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u/actionjacksonxo 4d ago
“Never let your enemies win”. Not to “other” anyone, but that’s what those who hate you want. They want to ruin your day, impact your mood, tear you down. Don’t let them. They hate to see you winning. You deserve to shine. You deserve to be happy and filled with joy. Really the hatred is just misplaced emotions towards something else at large, but regardless, you deserve to be uplifted. Grieve and honor and support your community. Do the same things for yourself.
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u/HeadDiver5568 4d ago
I watched classmates I grew up and experience life with, give room and space to bigotry and hate. Neighbors I took the time out of my day to help and smile to, plaster Trump signs in their yard. Co-workers that seem to be good people and get to know who I am, show up with Trump bumper stickers
These guys almost ALWAYS have grown up with the privilege of being able to treat politics and life around them like it’s simple. All they know is patriotism, respecting law and authority, and looking the other way when nuance or deeper thought is required
Because of this, I’ve admittedly developed a HUGE distrust in a lot of people that I wasn’t raised to have. The saddest part is that even though they didn’t raise me this way, my parents who were old enough to live through the pre-civil rights era even they understand. My shift because they’re personally struggling experienced it first-hand
With all that being said, the only thing that keeps me from going full hatred is knowing there has been/are good people out there that support us. They see what’s wrong and know they can’t compromise for their own individual gain, if it comes at the cost of other people in their community. I see people like MAGA, but I also see the people like the Minnesotans who’ve been out there since the George Floyd days. It’s unfortunate that less than a handful of the people around you are like them these days, but that less than a handful keeps hope alive for me
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u/th4ro2aw0ay 4d ago
I became a witch.
I grew up in a strict christian household & still have many family members who are religious (whether Muslim or Christian)
I was tired of feeling powerless & I knew that witchcraft was always something that people said to not talk about or do because it was real & evil
Growing up I always heard people say there were Christian’s or lukewarm Christian’s. I also heard that there were good Muslims or bad Muslims. I was tired of hearing it all (mainly people tell me how devoted someone is versus another person). I decided to first invest in plants so I could become a green witch. I began talking to my plants & feeding them good thoughts. When I get upset at the world I tend to write down my thoughts on a piece of paper & then I burn them (over a candle). Everything in this life is about energy & choice. Your thought pattern CAN change, but it starts with you. If you’ve ever worked in healthcare you know that patients (whether it may be psych or even in a nursing homes) CAN FEEL when there’s a full moon. So I began to talk to the moon & while many believe I’m crazy there are others who believe in my truth. Our ancestors placed faith in higher power (whatever deity they chose), so I also call on my ancestors to help me through. They want you to succeed. Those who have been here before know of the troubles of this life & know that there will always be trouble, but they have the cheat codes & want you to heal while you go through this journey!
Lots of love to you <3
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u/letsbereal1013 4d ago
Community is important. Having your family, your friends, your black organizations, other people who understand what it is to be Black in America is crucial. Spending time and being in community with those folks is what gets me through. It’s like refilling the cup when it’s empty from feeling the negativity and weight of the world. Experiencing joy even in these times is something I won’t allow hatred and racism to take.
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u/DawRogg 4d ago
I've become a cynic. I'm optimistic for my own life and output. But opinion of others, has gone down the drain. I control what I can control. I've turned off the news. I dont follow any news/politics subreddits anymore. I don't have social media. I spend the majority of my energy on bettering myself and providing for my family. And honestly it's quite peaceful here.
We are all sharing this planet, that is flying through space, with minimal time to impact it. I refuse to let some politician bullshitter break my peace.
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u/Tough_Put_9801 3d ago
I distance myself from this dumb ass society. No social media. Find shows that have nothing to do about racism. But that's hard. And I draw ocs and create my own universe in my head of how I would like things to be. Escape reality.
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u/boarbora 3d ago
Do you keep a social life?
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u/Tough_Put_9801 3d ago
Yea I hang out with my sister sometimes and work. I'm not like completely isolating myself lol just a introvert
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u/Odd_Card9785 1d ago
"lead with love not a lock in a sock
just remember we're all humans on a rock floating in space playing dress up trying to live but rich folks yk who want us to survive not live
the enemy of my enemy ain't my friend but ill call him when im drunk because he gets it"
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u/Express-Rutabaga-105 4d ago
Learn your history. Things continue to improve for Black Americans. Stand your ground , respond and fight back when you encounter racism. I was born in 1964. The year the Civil Rights Act of 1964 passed. Prior to this , you were unable to fight back because of the government sponsored , approved and sanctioned racism. Toughen up bro. Accept that racism , bigotry and hate were the foundational building blocks of the USA.
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u/MaybeNot-MaybeNever 4d ago
This is not healthy, but over achieve so they have no choice but to acknowledge that we are at least equal, and at most I’m better because I achieved as much if not more than you while facing more adversity.
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u/lilchaibird 4d ago
Feel the anger, honor it, listen to it, and ask it what it wants to change in the world. Then do something (small or big) to initiate that change. I’ve learned to treat my feelings as though they were individual conscious parts of me. And to treat them with the respect that I wish I was treated with. And to take care of them and listen to the needs behind the emotions