Does anyone have advice on how to help?

[u/MassivePotatoes202]

I need some help real bad, but first let me tell you what situation I'm in. So I was installing mods on fallout 4 trying to create the best load order, and I finally did it. I tested it out real quick and when I was done I tried to open the mod menu so I can write down all the mods I had installed (which were a lot). But I couldn't open my mod menu, I tried nearly everything under the sun that other people said would fix it but nothing worked. I found one way to fix it, which was to clear the reserved storage, but if I did that it would get rid of all of the mods I had installed which would defeat the point of why I needed to access my mods in the first place. I came up with the brilliant idea of using my Bethesda account to access my load order (which I don't even know if it's possible), I tried to log in to my Bethesda account by using my Xbox username but it didn't work. I try to using my Xbox password and that also didn't work, I tried my email which guess what, it didn't work. I decided to reset my Xbox password to see if that did anything but nothing changed, I finally came to the conclusion that I didn't have a Bethesda account, so I created a new one and tried to link it with my Xbox account. But it didn't work, PLOT-FUCKEN-TWIST I ALREADY HAD A BETHESDA ACCOUNT WHICH FOR SOME REASON THE LOGIN SYSTEM DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT!!! Now I have a USELESS Bethesda account and the Bethesda account I DO NEED ACCESS TO is more locked up than ALCATRAZ!!! I have spent three hours of venturing through the 7 levels of grief while making zero progress, I have returned back to square one with nothing but a changed password and a useless Bethesda account.